Throughout my collage career, I have been in contact with World Venture (An international organization with a focus on evangelism/ practical human service. Check it out at www. worldventure.com.) and in particular a lady by the name of Audrey. I had told her with our initial meeting that I was interested in missions/ medical and bible education. And she in turn continued to forward me opportunities as well as ask about my prayer needs. This was our relationship her continually praying for me and and I continually rejecting the opportunities presented me.
Hence when Audrey sent me an opportunity in Ivory coast with a deadline of two weeks I am sure she was convinced I would just reply unable to attend. Instead, I found the opportunity almost irresistible. It was a chance to live as a missionary for an entire year, learn bible, Islam and French. It had all the buzz words for me as I recently developed an interest for French speaking Muslims- very different from my long standing passion for Spanish speaking nations.
The counsel of friends and family was clear: God is able to protect and provide, however He also gave me a brain to realize when a situation is unsafe. The Ivory coast is not exactly in a state of rest. Plus, my job would not be secure if I left for a year. Still, I felt that my job contract would be up in a couple of months and that now is a great time to explore other options. So, out of curiosity, I contacted Dan in Bolivia about the sport ministry he recently started. He remembered me and said that yes there was an opening with the BLESS ministry and that he would put me in contact with Audrey (The irony!). I also contacted a leader in my church about the college group annual trip to Bolivia. Turns out they also were in need of leaders and had changed there plan of a fall trip to a winter trip. World Venture again became my connecting point to a ministry opportunity; this time though with Spanish, leadership training, short term, sports outreach (soccer, volleyball, basketball!) and I would have a group to travel with for the first two weeks. All that was left was to talk to my employer about the 3 months I wanted to take off. I was amazed when I boss said that I could take 2 months and still keep my job. So, I said yes, and agreed to sign on for another year of employment. I feel so fortunate that my boss understands my wanderlust and respects my desire for other pursuits.
And so, I ran through the open door of opportunity, and decided to join the team in Bolivia. I still know no details about the specifics of the team, ministry, living situation or money needs, but I am excited! Please continue to pray for me that my body will heal and I will be able to play soccer and that all the other details will come together with ease.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Day of Arts & Crafts
Sarah came over and encouraged me to create... a lamp, earrings, and paint. We enjoyed theater movies over coffee. Not to mention I went to the craft store and biked!
PS Praise God. I also hiked Mt Pisgah yesterday and had no pain today!!!!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Top It Off
A good week.
Morning prayer, book study/ babysit, lunch with Sarah at the Lotus Garden- Vegan Chinese
Day of confirmation: Boss oked Bolivia trip for two months, Church and Collins said they wanted me to be a part of the ministries in Bolivia
Night prayer, worship, commited to CCF trip to Bolivia
Fun long work day
Lead work out was a bad idea, but salsa in the evening was fun
Spanish, art fundraiser, J tea with Nadine, Michael, and Robin, Community garden, biking
Movies enjoyed: Once, Fame, Tangled in 3D.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Exerpts from the book "A Praying Life"
When we don't recieve whapray for or desire, it doesn't mean that God isn't acting on our behalf. Rather, he's weaving his story. Paul tells us to "continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksging" (Colossians 4:2). Thanksgiving helps us to be grace centered, seeing all of life as a gift. It looks at how God's past blessings impact our lives. Watchfulness alerts us to the unfolding drama in the present. It looks for God's present working as it unfolds into future grace.
If Jesus were a magic prayer machine, he'd have healed this woman's daughter instantly, and we would not have discovered her feisty, creative spirit. Likewise, Jesus' ambiguity with us creates the space not only for him to emerge but us as well. If the miracle comes too quickly, there is no room for discovery, for relationship. With both this woman and us, Jesus is engaged in a divine romance, wooing us to himself. (Matthew 15)
The waiting that is the essence of faith provides the context for relationship. Faith and relationship are interwoven in dance. Everyone talks now about how prayer is relationship, but often what people me is having warm fuzzies with God. Nothing wrong with warm fuzzies but relationships are far richer and more complex.
Just to tell Jesus what I need and leave it with him is such a struggle.
When God seems silent and our prayers go unanswered, the overwhelming temptation is to leave the story- to walk out of the desert and attempt to create a normal life. But when we persist in a spiritual vacuum, when we hang in there during ambiguity, we get to know God. In fact, that is how intimacy grows in all close relationships.
Many of us wish God were more visible. We think that if we could see him better or know what is going on, then faith would come more easily. But if Jesus dominated the space and overwhelmed our vision, we would not be able to relate to him. Everyone who had a clear-eyed vision of God in the Bible fell doen as if he were dead. It is hard to relate to pure light.
I've been living at the edge of the abyss for several years now. Yes, I have had close times, have felt the presence of God, and these memories alone are what keep me from checking out.
Sometimes when we say "God is silent," what's really going on is that he hasn't told the story the way we wanted it told. He will be silent when we want him to fill in the blanks of the story we are creating. But with his own stories, the ones we live in, he is seldom silent.
If you wait, your heavenly Father will pick you up, carry you out into the night, and make your life sparkle. He wants to dazzle you with the wonder of his love.
i wanted success; he wanted authenticity. The Father was taking me on the same downward journey he took his son. Paul invited the Philippian church to join Jesus, "who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant being born in the likeness of men" (Philippians 2:6-7). The downward journey is a gospel story.
If Satan's basic game plan is pride, seeking to draw us into his life of arrogance, then God's basic game plan is humility, drawing us into the life of his Son. The Father can't think of anything better to give us than his Son.
To correctly discern when God is speaking to us, we need to keep the Word and Spirit together.
Love without being able to pray feels depressing and frustrating, like trying to tie a knot with gloves on. I would be powerless to do the other person any real good. People are far too complicated; the world is far too evil; and my own heart is too off center to be able to love adequately without praying. I need Jesus.
Living in unfinished stories draws us into God's final act, the return of Jesus. While we wait for his return, it is easy to predict the pattern of the last days. The book of Revelation pictures a suffering church, dying as creation itself is unraveling. Through suffering God will finally make his church beautiful and reveal his glory. In the desert you see his glory. In the last days the bride will be made beautiful, pure, waiting for her lover. Come quickly, Lord Jesus.
If Jesus were a magic prayer machine, he'd have healed this woman's daughter instantly, and we would not have discovered her feisty, creative spirit. Likewise, Jesus' ambiguity with us creates the space not only for him to emerge but us as well. If the miracle comes too quickly, there is no room for discovery, for relationship. With both this woman and us, Jesus is engaged in a divine romance, wooing us to himself. (Matthew 15)
The waiting that is the essence of faith provides the context for relationship. Faith and relationship are interwoven in dance. Everyone talks now about how prayer is relationship, but often what people me is having warm fuzzies with God. Nothing wrong with warm fuzzies but relationships are far richer and more complex.
Just to tell Jesus what I need and leave it with him is such a struggle.
When God seems silent and our prayers go unanswered, the overwhelming temptation is to leave the story- to walk out of the desert and attempt to create a normal life. But when we persist in a spiritual vacuum, when we hang in there during ambiguity, we get to know God. In fact, that is how intimacy grows in all close relationships.
Many of us wish God were more visible. We think that if we could see him better or know what is going on, then faith would come more easily. But if Jesus dominated the space and overwhelmed our vision, we would not be able to relate to him. Everyone who had a clear-eyed vision of God in the Bible fell doen as if he were dead. It is hard to relate to pure light.
I've been living at the edge of the abyss for several years now. Yes, I have had close times, have felt the presence of God, and these memories alone are what keep me from checking out.
Sometimes when we say "God is silent," what's really going on is that he hasn't told the story the way we wanted it told. He will be silent when we want him to fill in the blanks of the story we are creating. But with his own stories, the ones we live in, he is seldom silent.
If you wait, your heavenly Father will pick you up, carry you out into the night, and make your life sparkle. He wants to dazzle you with the wonder of his love.
i wanted success; he wanted authenticity. The Father was taking me on the same downward journey he took his son. Paul invited the Philippian church to join Jesus, "who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant being born in the likeness of men" (Philippians 2:6-7). The downward journey is a gospel story.
If Satan's basic game plan is pride, seeking to draw us into his life of arrogance, then God's basic game plan is humility, drawing us into the life of his Son. The Father can't think of anything better to give us than his Son.
To correctly discern when God is speaking to us, we need to keep the Word and Spirit together.
Love without being able to pray feels depressing and frustrating, like trying to tie a knot with gloves on. I would be powerless to do the other person any real good. People are far too complicated; the world is far too evil; and my own heart is too off center to be able to love adequately without praying. I need Jesus.
Living in unfinished stories draws us into God's final act, the return of Jesus. While we wait for his return, it is easy to predict the pattern of the last days. The book of Revelation pictures a suffering church, dying as creation itself is unraveling. Through suffering God will finally make his church beautiful and reveal his glory. In the desert you see his glory. In the last days the bride will be made beautiful, pure, waiting for her lover. Come quickly, Lord Jesus.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Good encouragement
Phil 4:9, Rom 15:13, Ps 25:4-5, 139:23
God is faithful.
God not only hears but answers prayer.
God is love.
God is faithful.
God not only hears but answers prayer.
God is love.
My own judgement?
Trying to find words
Trying not to be too emotional
God is good and God has a plan and a reason for placing desires within me
Oswald March 4
It is easier to serve or work for God without a vision and without a call, because then you are not bothered by what He requires. Common sense, covered with a layer of Christian emotion, becomes your guide. You may be more prosperous and successful from the world's perspective, and will have more leisure time, if you never acknowledge the call of God. But once you receive a commission from Jesus Christ, the memory of what God asks of you will always be there to prod you on to do His will. You will no longer be able to work for Him on the basis of common sense.
What do I count in my life as "dear to myself"? If I have not been seized by Jesus Christ and have not surrendered myself to Him, I will consider the time I decide to give God and my own ideas of service as dear. I will also consider my own life as "dear to myself." But Paul said he considered his life dear so that he might fulfill the ministry he had recieved, and he refused to use his energy on anything else. This verse (Acts 20:24) shows an almost noble annoyance by Paul at being asked to consider himself. He was absolutely indifferent to any consideration other than that of fulfilling the ministry he had recieved. Our ordinary and reasonable service to God may actually compete against our total surrender to Him. Our reasonable work is based on the following argument which we say to ourselves, "Remember how useful you are here, and think how much value you would be in that particular type of work." That attitude chooses our own judgement, instead of Jesus Christ, to be our guide as to where we should go and where we could be used the most. Never consider whether or not you are of use- but always consider that "you are not your own" (1 Corinthians 6:19). You are His.
Trying not to be too emotional
God is good and God has a plan and a reason for placing desires within me
Oswald March 4
It is easier to serve or work for God without a vision and without a call, because then you are not bothered by what He requires. Common sense, covered with a layer of Christian emotion, becomes your guide. You may be more prosperous and successful from the world's perspective, and will have more leisure time, if you never acknowledge the call of God. But once you receive a commission from Jesus Christ, the memory of what God asks of you will always be there to prod you on to do His will. You will no longer be able to work for Him on the basis of common sense.
What do I count in my life as "dear to myself"? If I have not been seized by Jesus Christ and have not surrendered myself to Him, I will consider the time I decide to give God and my own ideas of service as dear. I will also consider my own life as "dear to myself." But Paul said he considered his life dear so that he might fulfill the ministry he had recieved, and he refused to use his energy on anything else. This verse (Acts 20:24) shows an almost noble annoyance by Paul at being asked to consider himself. He was absolutely indifferent to any consideration other than that of fulfilling the ministry he had recieved. Our ordinary and reasonable service to God may actually compete against our total surrender to Him. Our reasonable work is based on the following argument which we say to ourselves, "Remember how useful you are here, and think how much value you would be in that particular type of work." That attitude chooses our own judgement, instead of Jesus Christ, to be our guide as to where we should go and where we could be used the most. Never consider whether or not you are of use- but always consider that "you are not your own" (1 Corinthians 6:19). You are His.
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