History

Have you ever known what it feels like to be exactly where God wants you; in that place for me, there is peace, excitement and joy. Lately, the last two years, i have been really struggling with finding this place. (especially now since i know what it feels like and desire it.)
These last two years for me have been a tug-of-war between God and i. I have been in uncomfortable places both physically and spiritually, i have been stretched, and i have learned. yet through it all, i still have no certainty that i am where my God wants me. I know i was designed for a purpose.
Mainly, my struggle has been what direction to take my life and more specifically: What career should i pursue?
with my life i want to help people in a practical way. I want to have variety in my duties and i would love to see people change for the better. not going to lie, i also want to earn enough to be able to afford traveling and time to play.
With these goals in mind i went to college with two careers in mind: radiology tech. and nursing. Two years later, i have rejected three nursing schools and applied only once to radiology. yet, i still feel no sense of peace in my decisions. i still feel uncertain that i am where/ doing what God wants for me.
now anyone could tell me, to know someone you need to spend time with that person and that the same is true with God. ok, so i am not consistant but, I know that God hears me and answers me every time i come to Him in prayer. in fact, i have experienced this so much that now i am scared to ask God where he wants me to be because i know He will answer. it probably scares me the most because i know it is not where i am, and then after being told i will be embarrassed. why can i not just surrender the control of my life over to the God who made me? why do i have such a hard time trusting the one who has never left me and wants the best for me?
surrender, control and trust- all such huge concepts/ issues for me.

numero uno

following a suggestion- 12 essentials for your 20's
Discover, Develope, Become, Be

1. Discover God
2. Discover your identity col 3:3
3. Discover your calling 1 peter 2:9
4. Develope your character
5. Develope discipline
6. Develope your values
7. Become a servant
8. Become a giver matt 14
9. Become educated
10. Be mentored
11. Be a mentor
12. Be an explorer