We don't consciously and deliberately disobey God- we simply don't listen to him. God has given his commands to us, but we pay no attention to them- not because of willful disobedience, but because we do not truly love and respect him. "If you love me, keep my commandments" (John 14:15). Once we realize we have constantly been showing disrespect to God, we will be filled with shame and humiliation of ignoring Him.
"you speak with us,... but let not God speak with us..." (Exodus 20:19) We show how little love we have for God by preferring to listen to His servants rather than to Him. We like to listen to personal testimonies, but we don't want God Himself to speak to us. Why are we so terrified for God to speak to us? It is because we know that when God speaks we must either do what He asks or tell Him we will not obey. But if it is simply one of God's servants speaking to us, we feel obedience is optional, not imperative. We respond by saying, "Well, that's only your own idea, even though I don't deny that what you said is probably God's truth."
Am I constantly humiliating God by ignoring Him, while he lovingly continues to treat me as His child? Once I finally do hear him, the humiliation i have heaped on him returns to me. My response then becomes, "Lord, why was I so insensitive and obstinate?" This is always the result once we hear God. But our real delight in finally hearing Him is tempered with the shame we feel for having taken so long to do so.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Understanding Cynicism-exerpts from a praying life
After reading these last chapters in the book A Praying Life by David Powelson, I realized that my skeptic and critical personality has carried over to much of my belief in "how God responds to prayer." God is faithful though and has been educating me a lot this last year about trusting him. Still I identify a lot with these quotes speaking of cynicism:
If I get an answer to prayer, sometimes I'll think, It would have happened anyway.
I think we have built up scar tissue from our frustrations, and we don't want to expose ourselves anymore. Fear constrains us.
It is easier for me to feel skepticism and nothing than to feel deep passion.
It feels like we can't find the joy in things, like we are too aware to trust or hope.
The cynic is always observing, critiquing, but never engaged, loving, and hoping.
It protects you from crushing disappointment, but it paralyzes you from doing anything.
a praying life is just the opposite. It engages evil. It doesn't take no for an answer. The psalmist was in God's face, hoping and dreaming, asking. Prayer is feisty. Cynicism, on the other hand, merely critiques. It is passive, cocooning itself from the passions of the great cosmic battle we are engaged in. It is without hope.
Weariness and fear leave us feeling overwhelmed, unable to move Cynicism leaves us doubting, unable to dream. The combination shuts down our hearts, and we just show up for life, going through the motions.
All of these thoughts Question the active goodness of God on our behalf. These thoughts ridiculously lack trust in the only person that is really in control and deny Him the glory that is obviously due him. I refuse to be robed of the joy that worry and criticism commands.
If I get an answer to prayer, sometimes I'll think, It would have happened anyway.
I think we have built up scar tissue from our frustrations, and we don't want to expose ourselves anymore. Fear constrains us.
It is easier for me to feel skepticism and nothing than to feel deep passion.
It feels like we can't find the joy in things, like we are too aware to trust or hope.
The cynic is always observing, critiquing, but never engaged, loving, and hoping.
It protects you from crushing disappointment, but it paralyzes you from doing anything.
a praying life is just the opposite. It engages evil. It doesn't take no for an answer. The psalmist was in God's face, hoping and dreaming, asking. Prayer is feisty. Cynicism, on the other hand, merely critiques. It is passive, cocooning itself from the passions of the great cosmic battle we are engaged in. It is without hope.
Weariness and fear leave us feeling overwhelmed, unable to move Cynicism leaves us doubting, unable to dream. The combination shuts down our hearts, and we just show up for life, going through the motions.
All of these thoughts Question the active goodness of God on our behalf. These thoughts ridiculously lack trust in the only person that is really in control and deny Him the glory that is obviously due him. I refuse to be robed of the joy that worry and criticism commands.
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