Wake up, Wake up!

I find, this year, I did not live a life of joy supplied by a God that is willing to fill. With loss, I decided rather to close off from the people I hold most dear. It was almost as if I made a pact with myself to never have to say the final goodbye to anyone again. As I crawled under the cover of music, exercise and work, I became numb to the world spinning past. What remained at the end of the summer was a shell of a person. Apathetic and uncaring months passed without much recollection of my own.
My next memory is standing on a line of one inch webbing six feet off the ground. Looking down at the grass, I felt fear and pain again as I had just heard of another friend’s death. Tears flowed easier this time. Yet darkness invaded my slow recovering heart, changing it back to dismal. Cold and anesthetized, I finished my time at OIT. There are few moments that stand out in clarity from this last year. They were often triggered by music, wind brushing my face and the beauty of clouds change color in the evening light of spring.
Sad, how the mind closes off. I apologize to all of my friends for not being present in mind. Still, know that those meetings were good for me. Thank you for your patience. Believe it or not, those small points of conversation kept me going more than all the activities I crammed into my life. Those busy weeks of play were only a distraction to keep my mind busy. I healed more talking to you, my friends.
Now coming out the fog, I recognize what I missed living in sadness. Thank you, God, for waking me for the potential final good bye. Uncertain of when we might see each other again, I try to focus on the positive. I will pray for you, friend, continually, that you would be joy filled, live a full life, be confident surrounded by love and peace. John 10: 10 Psalm 5: 11 Ephesians 3:16-19
Ephesians 5: 14
Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.
I still pray and hope that you would be aware of my God displaying his love for you daily.
Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed. – Corita Kent
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
-Elbert Hubbard
Wake up wake up- everyday Sunday
Fells like I'm going through the motions in the dark
in a world that leaves me with an uninspired heart
All I know, is I'm so tired
living life a barely feel
give me hope, give me fire
gimme something real
'Cause I don't wanna keep sleep-walking through
endless days, I've had enough of
going nowhere, God I want to
wake up! wake up!
wake up!
It's now or never come and pull me from this dream
where everything is colorless and nothing is what it seems
I believe, only you can make me come alive
help me be so consumed, open up my eyes
'Cause I don't wanna keep sleep-walking through
endless days, I've had enough of
going nowhere, God I want to
wake up! wake up!
wake up!
Half Asleep
I'm so bored
counting sheep
'Cause I don't wanna keep sleep-walking through
endless days, I've had enough of
going nowhere, God I want to
wake up! wake up!
wake up!

"First Time" - lighthouse
We're both looking for something
We've been afraid to find
It's easier to be broken
It's easier to hide
Looking at you, holding my breath,
For once in my life, I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance, letting you inside.
Feeling alive all over again,
As deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she says
For the first time
Maybe I'm wrong,
But I'm feeling right where I belong
With you tonight
Like being in love
To feel for the first time
The world that I see inside you
Waiting to come to life
Waking me up to dreaming
Reality in your eyes
Looking at you,
Holding my breath,
For once in my life
I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance,
Letting you inside.
I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time
We're crashing
Into the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home
I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

(This is what a God moment feels for me.)