Isolated

Being in Klamath Falls for school has never been the drawing point for me while living here. my friends here however, have been my joy. today, though i feel somewhat isolated. i came to the realization this week that out of all my friends here in Klamath, none of them can hold me accountable in my faith. i use to consider this a great thing to strengthen me in my own convictions. now, i understand why Jesus said to go out in groups of two. i miss the encouragement in talking to someone openly about our God. i miss the common strength in the reminder that He is always with me. though, i am surrounded by people here who love me, it is not the spiritual love as brothers and sisters. i don't know how to encourage my friends when they go through hard times. i can't tell them to hold on the the assurance that God will be with them through every step of their troubles/ heartache. i feel as if i can't encourage them with this because i would be forcing my own beliefs on them, even though i know this to be the truth. i want so desperately to have them experience the freedom, joy and love in Christ. i want my friends that know God briefly to come to a more full understanding of Him. i want them all to crave the relationship that i know is possible with the God of the universe. the same God that i claim as a friend, redeemer, and guardian.

who stole your joy!?

1 Peter 1: 3-9

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! in his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade- kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. in this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trails. these have come so that your faith- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.



for some reason the church has become so consumed with the legalism of "church." Jesus never meant for faith to be about regulations and nitpicking over little things that mean you are "OK." though somehow Christianity has become about religion and less about relationship. less about the the freedom and joy found in Christ. it is about God.

peter had it straight. Christianity is not about contradicting life or what was done wrong. the goal of the faith claimed in Christianity is SALVATION- achieved through Christ. and this should be what radically changes our chore inside and ultimately, lifestyle. the result is a filling, more than excitement- "a glorious and inexpressible joy!"

be excited about what God is doing on the inside. let the life be radically changed from the religious games of cleaning and about what you are trying to receive from your faith to contentment and joy.

as Christians our faith is in a resurrected Christ- who claims us as His own! and gives salvation! and life with him forever! i know whose i am. for this reason i am excited to live a life inexcusably joy filled!

yes, i will not be understood when bad things happen and i am still joy filled, but that will be because my focus is on the eternal. i want all who meet me to be able to feel this freedom and and inexpressible life. Christianity is not a place of stoic faces but a place of joy!

this is my prayer

the challenge in a bible study from a surfer:
(my notes)
pray for your friends.
those that you disciple make sure to challenge them to also disciple others.
the armor of God is for battle- use it- be in battle.
follow the law of your land.
it is going to be embarrassing when you share Christ.
make sure that you use your mouth to also share about the need we have for God.
understand that it is a supernatural thing- you can't take credit for the God moments.
pray.
have integrity- live what you claim.
gain knowledge.
know Christ- everything/ anything can not compare.
make sure you point people to Jesus.
keep the commandments.
know that you are forgiven.
*the christen life described as a wheel* hub: Christ, 4 Spokes: the word, prayer, fellowship, and witnessing (make sure all the "spokes" are the same length - balanced in your lifestyle) the rim: the christian walk.
Pray: A-adoration, C- confession, T- thanksgiving, S- supplication (request).
attributes of God.
know the One True God.
walk the life, filled with joy, have fire.
patience.
reach out.
encourage.
show love.
obey.
live.

thoughts after the study:
i really wish that OIT had theology and world religion classes. i need to study the attributes of God.

Hello Friend, I've Missed You

Why wait for the drink to defrost your face?
Oh the great dynamic between winter and spring.
Retract your talons.
Even flowers push up through the dirt.
Nurture strength of your spirit.
It is still a beautiful world.
Remember what peace there may be in silence.
There is joy
Be careful
I've missed you.

there is something so freeing about writing. not sure what it is about free verse, but it does capture my emotion almost as quickly as music. this particular one has been on my heart for a while. i guess it is inspired by my friends and my feelings towards them... what do you say when all you have is love for them, but hurt every time you are near them? i can only imagine this is a part of the frustration God feels toward us as humanity and in how strongly we reject Him.

it has been a while

time passes so quickly. every year a little bit faster. i find the plans that i made a couple years ago have been pushed backwards or obliterated from memory. my plans to travel and see the world... became limited by my own desire to find a major to stick to. (i found a major, but did i miss my opportunity to travel last year?)
my quest to travel, however, is far from being forgotten. especially, considering all the stories from friends and family that have had the opportunities to travel these last few years. i do feel somewhat left behind or deprived i must admit.
top countries i would love to visit: New Zealand (inspired by my grandfather and cousin Elizabeth), Italy (inspired by my friend AJ), Germany (inspired by my grandmother), Cambodia (inspired by my friend Megan), Argentina (inspired by my friend Max), Spain (inspired by my cousin Aaron), Israel (inspired by my pastor), Ireland (inspired by a friend Megan) and more of the USA.
i love trying new things and experiencing different cultures. the cultural choices of food, dress, custom, and color fascinate me.
patience.

Peace on Earth

I know this will probably sound odd for those of you who know me as the crazy adventure seeking, can't sit still for more than a minute person, but one of my favorite things to do around Christmas is to just sit and enjoy the lights on the tree. I love the tranquility after everyone in the house has gone to bed and all the lights are out but the small reflections coming from the living room. In this moment, snuggled on the couch I relax to the small sparkles amidst the evergreen. Yes, the moments of stillness are the ones I strive to find in life. The peace of snow flakes falling to the earth, steam rising from a warm cup in my hands, the aroma of freshly cut pine boughs, breath caught in the air on a walk outside, and dancing flames in a hearth or on a candle are all my happy thoughts around Christmas time.

lyrics that touched me this last year

MY TRIBUTE
How can I say thanks
For the things you have done for me
Things so undeserved
Yet You gave to prove your love for me
The voices of a million angels
Could not express my gratitude
All that I am and ever hope to be
I owe it all to thee
To God be the glory, to God be the glory
To God be the glory,
For the things He has done
With His blood He has saved me
With His power He has raised me
To God be the glory,
For the things He has done
Just let me live my life
And let it be pleasing Lord to thee
And should I gain any praise
Let it go to Calvary
With His blood He has saved me
With His power He has raised me
To God be the glory
For the things He has done

Skillet - Rebirthing From the album Comatose
I lie here paralytic inside this soul
Screaming for You till my throat is numb
I wanna break out, I need a way out
I don’t believe that it’s gotta be this way
The worst is the waiting
In this womb I’m suffocating
Pre-chorus:
Feel Your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen
I take You in
I’ve died
Chorus:
Rebirthing now
I wanna live for love, wanna live for You and me
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow
Rebirthing now
I wanna live my life, wanna give You everything
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow
Right now
I lie here lifeless in this cocoon
Shedding my skin cause I’m ready to
I wanna break out, I found a way out
I don’t believe that it’s gotta be this way
The worst is the waiting In the womb I’m suffocating
Pre-chorus:
Chorus:
Bridge:
Tell me when I’m gonna live again
Tell me when I’m gonna breathe You in
Tell me when I’m gonna feel insideTell me when I’m gonna feel alive
Chorus:
I come alive somehow
Right now
I come alive somehow
I come alive somehow

The Classic Crime - The Coldest Heart From the album Albatross
A couple of years and I’m a silhouette
My halo is broken now, and I’m all that’s left I hate to disappoint but that’s the way things went
I was blind to the things I did and deaf to what was said
Tie up these loose ends, these voices are holding me out
I’ve got the solution you can feed me to something that is leaving this town
Chorus:
Whoa, I’m losing hope there’s a hole in my heart that’s been cut out of stone
Whoa, cold comes cold goes
Could You fill this hole ‘cause I can’t do it alone
A couple of tears and I’m a broken mess
The sadness has taken me far too deep and regret
So sing me a song about something good
My hearts on the threshing floor
I’ve done every single thing I could
I used to believe in some kind of feeling that could change everything
I thought I knew
But that door is closed and my heart feels like it’s frozen
If you hear me, I can’t feel You
Chorus:
(3x’s)The coldest heart can be brought to life
When it’s thrown into the fire of goodbyes
(2x’s)Chorus:

History By Matthew West
West It's been a bad day
You've been looking back
And all you can see is everything you wish you could take back
All your mistakes
A world of regrets
All of those moments you would rather forget
I know it's hard to believe
Let me refresh your memory
CHORUS
Yesterday is history
And history is miles away
So, leave it all behind you
But let it always remind you of the day
The day that love made history
You know you can't stay right where you fell
The hardest part is forgiving yourself
But let's take a walk into today
And don't let your past get in the way
Would you believe that you are history in the making, in the making?
Every choice that you are making
Every step that you are taking
Every chain that you are breaking
History is in the making
Every word that you are saying
Every prayer that you are praying
Every chain that you are breaking
History is in the making
History is in the making
History is in the making

Adie - Your WayFrom the album Don't Wait
I'm trying to believe that you're holding me
When the feeling, the feeling is gone
I want to see your right when I'm wrong
I just want to be what you want for me this time
(Chorus)
I'll follow you
Will you guide me
Take me where I'm never lonely
I'll follow you
Will you guide me
I want to live my life
Your way
Your way
I'm trying to receive what you've offered me
When the leading, the leading is gone
I want to see your light tear thru the blanket of night
I just want to be what you want for me all the time
(Chorus)
Trust in You my Father
You're the one I see
You're my air and water
You're everything I need
And I hear you inside of me
(Chorus)

AS Far As the East is From the West- Casting Crowns Words and Music by Mark Hall
Here I am Lord and I’m drowning
In Your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don’t want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight
I know You’ve cast my sin as far
As the East is from the West
And I stand before You now As though I’ve never sinned
But today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way
Chorus:
Jesus, can You show me just how far the East is from the West?
Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find restYou know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other
I start the day, the war begins
Endless reminding of my sin
And time and time again
Your truth is drowned out by the storm I’m in
Today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way
Chorus:
I know You’ve washed me white
Turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can’t live by what I feel
About the truth Your word reveals
And I’m not holding onto You
But You’re holding onto me
You’re holding onto me
Chorus:


Paul Wright Lyrics"Paul Wright Take This Life lyrics"
Verse 1:
Take this life Forgive me for the words I spoke before they even left my throat.
My heart would rather rebel than obey.
Forgive me for this life of sin I know I need a new beginning Lord I've gone astray.
Chorus:
Take this life make it yours. Do what's right oh Lord.
You got to take this take this life. You got to make it make it right.
Verse 2:
Take my flesh take my pride take the sins I try to hide, take my doubts take my fears all the pain and all the tears and I fall down on my knees Lord I'm beggin ya please Lord take the shame take the blame it's all the same.
Take this life
Make it right
Take this life
Bridge:
I don't want to live a life that's compromising to the king
I'd rather live for you than live for me or anything
Take this life and all my hidden sins make it yours. Do what's right and everything within oh Lord. You got to take this take this life. You got to make it make it right.

Where The Love Lasts Forever -Joel Houston
Intro:
Verse 1:
Your mercy found me,
Upon the broken road,
And lifted me beyond my failing,
Into Your glory,
My sin and shame is dissolved,
And now forever Yours I'll stand.
PreChorus:
In love never to end,
To call You more than Lord,
Glorious friend.
Chorus:
So I throw my life upon all You are,‘Cause I know You gave it all for me,
And when all else fades,
My soul will dance, with You,
Where the love lasts forever.
Bridge:
And forever I will sing,
Lord forever I will sing,
how You gave Your life away,
Just to save me, Lord You saved me.
Tag:
With You
Where the love lasts forever
I'll be with You
Where the love lasts forever
I will sing to You
Where the love lasts forever
I will dance with You
Where the love lasts forever