After reading these last chapters in the book A Praying Life by David Powelson, I realized that my skeptic and critical personality has carried over to much of my belief in "how God responds to prayer." God is faithful though and has been educating me a lot this last year about trusting him. Still I identify a lot with these quotes speaking of cynicism:
If I get an answer to prayer, sometimes I'll think, It would have happened anyway.
I think we have built up scar tissue from our frustrations, and we don't want to expose ourselves anymore. Fear constrains us.
It is easier for me to feel skepticism and nothing than to feel deep passion.
It feels like we can't find the joy in things, like we are too aware to trust or hope.
The cynic is always observing, critiquing, but never engaged, loving, and hoping.
It protects you from crushing disappointment, but it paralyzes you from doing anything.
a praying life is just the opposite. It engages evil. It doesn't take no for an answer. The psalmist was in God's face, hoping and dreaming, asking. Prayer is feisty. Cynicism, on the other hand, merely critiques. It is passive, cocooning itself from the passions of the great cosmic battle we are engaged in. It is without hope.
Weariness and fear leave us feeling overwhelmed, unable to move Cynicism leaves us doubting, unable to dream. The combination shuts down our hearts, and we just show up for life, going through the motions.
All of these thoughts Question the active goodness of God on our behalf. These thoughts ridiculously lack trust in the only person that is really in control and deny Him the glory that is obviously due him. I refuse to be robed of the joy that worry and criticism commands.
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