Well, Today...

Needing to write

2012-01-23T12:13:00.000-08:00

Some things I do better than others. It is easier for me to bake than to do the work I know that I should do. I call it baking therapy. This week I have made cookies twice and now am contemplating a soda bread recipe. What am I avoiding you might ask. Writing is the answer. I have to read through and write responses to three bible studies. I have to write a support letter and news letter about my current status. And I need to write thank you letters. I struggle in these because they are not just the fanciful care-free writing. These are things that are really important and are close to my heart. People always say it is the things closest to your heart that are most difficult to share. Why is that? Is it because we never share our heart desires that we struggle to articulate them? For the most part I am a very outspoken person and like to give lots of details because I think out loud- not always a good thing. To be concise and still convey heart is difficult. Please pray for me.

Thankful

2011-11-27T20:34:00.000-08:00

The wonderful thing about Central Oregon is that the rain stops and the sun shines the moment you cross over the mountains-it truly is a wonderful thing :)

Currently, I am munching on pomagranet jewels (Thanks Grandma) as I think back over the weekend. We enjoyed sunshine the morning of Thanksgiving while hiking the butte and snow in the evening. The next day was again sunny as we walked the river trail. Saturday, my mother and I once again had a wonderful time in the sun and the snow x-country skiing. Sunday with another day of sunshine, I was again not disappointed as i joined the ladies for lunch at the Taji Palace. Indian food and a brief walk was a great way to finish my time in Bend. Of course the food was good and the family was entertaining while playing back-up, but these moments were the highlights for me. (No pun intended)

What is on my heart

2011-09-26T09:35:00.000-07:00

I don’t know a lot, but I do know Jesus, and I believe He’s given us (Christians) the

calling to proclaim His name. “And so it was with me, brothers and sisters. When

I came to you, I did not come with eloquence or human wisdom as I proclaimed to

you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you

except Jesus Christ and him cruciﬁed. I came to you in weakness with great fear

and trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive

words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might

not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power” (1 Cor. 2:1-5) I strive to keep

things simple and always for the glory of God

I can not fool God

2011-08-03T23:09:00.000-07:00

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Ps 139:23-24

Confess your sins to one another that you may be healed... James 5:16

If we claim to be without sin, we decive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. if we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. 1 john 1:8-10

I dishonor Christ when I don't regularly confess my sins and recognize the death that He died to give forgiveness for all my sin. In so doing, I am denying the gift that the Father extended to me through the sacrifice of His son.

"The gates of hell are locked from the inside."- Lewis

2011-08-02T22:39:00.000-07:00

Read Matt 5:17-48 and tell me that you don't think humans are screwed. Because that is all that comes to my mind. Then my next thought is how TERRIBLE it will be to be separated from God. The God I know is everything good and loving. The God I know is patient and kind. My God is love. Many people wonder how a loving and compassionate God could judge people. They wonder why Hell has to exist. As a result I want you to read the quotes below which come from a Croatian theologian named Miroslav Volf who survived the Balkan Wars of the mid 1990's where horrible atrocities were committed.

"God will judge, not because God gives people what they deserve, but because some people refuse to receive what no one deserves; if evil doers experience God's terror, it will not be because they have done evil, but because they have resisted to the end the powerful lure of the open arms of the crucified Messiah."

"Should not a loving God be patient and keep luring the perpetrator into goodness? This is exactly what God does: God suffers the evildoers throughout history as God has suffered them on the cross. But how patient should God be? The Day of reckoning must come, not because God is too eager to pull the trigger, but because every day of patience in a world of violence means more violence and every postponement of vindication means letting insult accompany injury."

I am reminded of 2 Peter 3:9 "The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance."

How long though will God allow injustice?

Can man do anything good without God?

Pray Continually

2011-07-19T22:18:00.001-07:00

Daniel 3:17-18 If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if he does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.

Pray to God in confidence that He hears, but even if His answer is not what I expect or desire, it does not take away from the deity of God. Never stop asking. Matthew 21:22. Never stop praying. 1 Thessalonians 5:19

Eric Married Elissa

2011-07-19T17:47:00.001-07:00

Rehearsal dinner
Waiting
First sight

Married

Excerpt from Courage and Calling by Gordon Smith

2011-07-11T16:47:00.000-07:00

...Two assumptions: that all people are responsible for the choices they make, and that these choices are meaningful and significant. they make a difference. Without God, such a thought leads only to despair- as it has for many twentieth-century existentialists. But with God and with faith in God, we are rather empowered by this knowledge. We make our choices in response to God, and we make our choices knowing that God is Lord of the universe and that our choices therefore carry significance and meaning.

Our only hope for a genuine and full response to our current life circumstances is a theology of the Christian life that takes our complete humanity seriously; we must have an intentional theology of human actions and human responsibility. I cannot help but wonder if it is a great fear of Pelagianism- the doctrine that human beings are capable of obedience to God through their own strength and will power- that undercuts our capacity to embrace human responsibility. We must affirm the priority of divine action and grace, but we need to do so in a way that calls us to God's grace and enables us to respond fully to it. As Gary Badcock aptly puts it, "A theology of response does not need to be Pelagian; it need only be a theology in which the reality of the human is taken seriously."

To take the human seriously is to recognize the power and destructive reality of sin, and thus the existence of what Paul calls the "old self," which is corrupted and deluded (Eph 4:22). But it is also to embrace the new self, which has been "created according to the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness" (Eph 4:24). We are called to deny the old self and to live in congruence with the new self, which finds its origin in God's creative act. This is the true self, created to respond to God, the self that is given generously in service, and the self that is found in community.

... move from self-absorption and become selves that are centered in God and true to our own identity and call.

Once again

2011-06-30T16:42:00.001-07:00

After four days of work in Eugene, I once again headed back to Bend! The first comment my friend Matt made when we met at a concert was "Did you even leave?" A pleasent surprise to my planned visit was that my parents were temporarily off the PCT and at the house! It was really nice to share some meals and hugs. My original intent in visiting was to spend time with my friends Bryne (We celebrated her birthday attending the Bite of Bend) and Megan (It had been two years since we were both in Bend at the same time.). The weather once again was wonderful. So, I went on a bike ride, floated the river, hiked, visited the grandparents, ate a lot of good food, watched some good movie flicks, and attended an outdoor concert/ benefit- I won a silent auction ceramic bowl and salad spoons! Yes, I had a wonderful time and even got a little tan from the visit :)

When I returned to Eugene I remembered that it was the Oregon Bach Festival. So, my new roommate, Collett and I went to see "Bach and Britten Cello #2." The Cello is my favorite instrument and the concerrt displayed wonderfully the wide range of sound it is capable of creating. Besides these adventures I am back to the routine of work, cleaning and regular life business.

Back to Bend

2011-06-21T09:19:00.000-07:00

It is always so great to go back some place and feel completely at home; and Bend did not disappoint me this last weekend
My four day weekend started with a quick trip to Corvallis to visit my friend Nathan. We did the usual: Play hard, eat well routine. Then I drove over the pass with enough time to get my oil changed (for free!) and dress up for my friends Janna & Mike's wedding. The wedding was lovely and it was so wonderful to see my Bend church family. Saturday was packed full with fun events. An early bike ride, some random paddle boarding, volleyball and lunch with my friend Shaphan. (My friends Shaphan and Bekah just moved to Bend.) Then I met up with Megan for some hot tubing, brownie baking, and good conversation with our friend Bryne. Megan and I then went downtown to the poet house for some live music. After that Bekah and I went back to here home for the summer and made dinner and watched a movie. -Such a great Saturday!
Sunday, I went to church with the Eugene crew, plus two. Afterward, Richard and I went on a motorcycle ride out east of town. Then I ran some errands with the German grandma :) In the mid afternoon I met Jeremy and Bryne and their dogs to walk the River trail. We also enjoyed some of the free music at the Les Chewab amphitheater. The evening came to a finale at the Common Table for dinner. (Check it out! Great food and great concept of community! commontable.net ) Lastly, we drove to Shaphan's new casa for milk shakes. Monday was a little slower pace. My grandmother and I went to Jackson's Corner for breakfast and then ran some errands before noon. I then met up with my friend Maddy and her mother to hike at Tumalo Falls. The trail was covered in snow about 3 miles in so we came back to town for "Cuppa Yo" and a walk in Drake Park. Then I had dinner with Maddy and her husband, Guy, before heading back over to Eugene.
Going to Bend, I definitely pack in all that I enjoy and find wonderful about Central Oregon. Next weekend, I need to hike the butte and float the river to accomplish the basics though ;)

Believe- from an old housemate

2011-06-06T14:23:00.000-07:00

If you believe not in Christ,

To what purpose is the present life?

Our sojourn here is like the twinkling of an eye

And all our struggle would be but a futile gesture

If there is no hope of life beyond the night.

But Holy Scripture affirms that Christ is the Word made flesh,

And dwelt among us as our fellow man:

He came to die upon the cross for all our sins,

And on the third day He arose from the tomb

To grant salvation to all who believe in Him.

If you believe not in Christ,

How do you explain the universe of miracles?

Is not every leaf, every star, the wind and the rain

Only an iota of his handiwork, each made for man:

To feed him, to light his way, to soothe and to cleanse him?

And the greatest miracle of all is the giving of life-

The miracle of birth and the conquest of death

Which, through His crucifiction and being raised from the dead,

Restores man to his original and benign state:

A state of immortality for all who believe in Him.

If you believe not in Christ,

There will be no peace in your soul throughout your life:

The quest for power, fame and fortune, even if attained,

Becomes useless and counterfeit and unwholesome to the taste:

For these things are at best ephemeral and as sounding brass

that five no true pleasure in their possession.

But how different it would be if the purpose for their achievement

Is to feed and clothe the sheep as it was commended to us by Christ:

Only in this will true joy abound us

And bestow life everlasting upon those who believe in Him.

If you believe not in Christ,

May prayers cause the light to shine upon you,

Beseeching you to ponder the limitless evidence of His presence:

For He has said, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life..."

And too, "He who believes in Me shall not perish but have life everlasting."

Yes, there is a purpose for our creation and existence:

It is that we praise and believe in Christ.

Reject not him Who created all things from the beginning,

Setting all things in motion for all time- past, present and future,

And all he asks in return is that we believe in Him.

- Milton Velasco Cook

Busy Days

2011-06-05T13:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday became Chaos so quickly I was left spinning. - It was wonderful to look back and say the many things accomplished and enjoying people. In the moment I was a little concerned though.

The day started at 7am.

I biked to Alton Baker to meet with Michael and plot the evenings goings on (ill explain later). I then biked to the duck park to meet Sarah and go on a ride along the river. Oh, and I should mention I failed at riding my bike while talking on the phone and totally crashed hard. (No worries it was just dumb and I only have bruises and scratched to prove it.) I then met up with a friend to make rice pudding. Then I biked back downtown to fill water balloons and execute a water balloon fit/ ambush in University Park. the group then player Frisbee and volleyball. Then we went to campus and played sand volleybal. From there I picked up my ordered earrings went to a BBQ back at University Park. I then met Mark near Alton Baker and we canoed to the previously scouted point that Michael and I visited earlier in the day. After I made it home and showered the final activity for the day was a movie at the new IMAX. To say the least I was exhausted... so, I fell asleep for a couple minutes during the show- oops!

Weekends are supposed to be exhausting :D

2011 Memorial Day Regatta

2011-05-30T12:41:00.001-07:00

Two days of sail boat racing out at Fern Ridge just east of Eugene. It was so much fun! Over 60 boats participated, 14 in my class, Thistle. Our best race was the final race on Sunday where we finished 3rd :D

plans not my own

2011-05-18T21:56:00.001-07:00

After many plans of late getting cancelled, I have been a little discouraged, to say the least. Also, I have been reading in James, ironically, where it is talking about not making plans because we do not know if tomorrow will even come. So this evening was really great in that I had one plan squished and something else was presented that was pretty exciting. In fact, there seems to be a pairing of bad and good recently too: Bolivia cancelled & kids mission camp offered, pakistan and zurich offerred. I have no idea what my plans are for the future or really for my vacation this year now, but one thing I know for sure what plans I may make I must be willing to let them go.

Matt 6:33 Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
God you are good in your blessings.

Church tonight was also just continued confirmation that I need to just be still and not make plans. - Such a struggle!!! I do not sit still well.

Postponed

2011-05-14T23:41:00.000-07:00

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. (Proverbs 15:22)
commit your plans to the lord and they will succeed (Proverbs 3:5)
rejoice in the lord always (Phil 4:4)
In no way did I feel ill prepared for the Bolivia trip this winter. In fact, I felt encouraged along every step. I was supported and given just enough information that I felt God was directing my steps. So it is with confusion and disappointment that the trip was cancelled/postponed for the winter. I know it is not my place to question God, and this particular case seems quiet clear.
God please make your plan clear through this whole mess. My energy toward this goal seems wasted. I know you lord are not a high that I should chase, but a constant strength and endurance. (James 1:17) You said you came to seek and save the lost (Luke 19:10); that it is sick that need a doctor (Matt 19:12). Direct my energy toward your people and how best to serve. May I rejoice in your clarity and may I run the race for which you have called me (Heb 12:1). May I not loose heart but instead be confident in all things that you work for the good of those that love you and are called according to your purpose (Rom 8:28).
Help me to continue and to focus on you.
Many are the plans in my heart Lord, but it is your will that prevails. (Proverbs 19:21)
Delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalms 37:4)
Psalm 40:1-4

Possible Pursuits

2011-05-08T17:04:00.000-07:00

Massage Therapy

Language study

Theology/ Biblical studies

Art History

Nutrition

Travel

Unkeepable Promises

2011-04-16T21:52:00.000-07:00

It has been two weeks since I was told that my work could not cover the time I requested off in the winter for my trip to Bolivia. Being a person that calues spoken word very highly, I was terribly upset when this verbal contract of the time off for another year of work was taken back. No longer will my return to the States have the security of a employment or finacial security. Once again, I am back in a place of having to trust God that he will do all that he has promised. He will take care of me. Do not worry about tomorrow, about food, clothing, because he cares for me. (Matt 6:25, 1 Peter 5:7) Once again, I have a decision to shorten my trip with the time frame I can resonable take off from work of to extend the time to the full three months that the original program with World Venture. In addition to this decision, I was informed that all planning/ organizing of the trip (people, fundraising, travel) is my responsiblity through FBC. Wow! Thankfully, I made some connections that can get me more information as how to fo about this process. Still, I ask that you would pray for me as I decide what needs to happen and in what order and for how long I will stay. Thanks.

Backstory on Bolivia

2011-03-22T16:14:00.000-07:00

Throughout my collage career, I have been in contact with World Venture (An international organization with a focus on evangelism/ practical human service. Check it out at www. worldventure.com.) and in particular a lady by the name of Audrey. I had told her with our initial meeting that I was interested in missions/ medical and bible education. And she in turn continued to forward me opportunities as well as ask about my prayer needs. This was our relationship her continually praying for me and and I continually rejecting the opportunities presented me.
Hence when Audrey sent me an opportunity in Ivory coast with a deadline of two weeks I am sure she was convinced I would just reply unable to attend. Instead, I found the opportunity almost irresistible. It was a chance to live as a missionary for an entire year, learn bible, Islam and French. It had all the buzz words for me as I recently developed an interest for French speaking Muslims- very different from my long standing passion for Spanish speaking nations.
The counsel of friends and family was clear: God is able to protect and provide, however He also gave me a brain to realize when a situation is unsafe. The Ivory coast is not exactly in a state of rest. Plus, my job would not be secure if I left for a year. Still, I felt that my job contract would be up in a couple of months and that now is a great time to explore other options. So, out of curiosity, I contacted Dan in Bolivia about the sport ministry he recently started. He remembered me and said that yes there was an opening with the BLESS ministry and that he would put me in contact with Audrey (The irony!). I also contacted a leader in my church about the college group annual trip to Bolivia. Turns out they also were in need of leaders and had changed there plan of a fall trip to a winter trip. World Venture again became my connecting point to a ministry opportunity; this time though with Spanish, leadership training, short term, sports outreach (soccer, volleyball, basketball!) and I would have a group to travel with for the first two weeks. All that was left was to talk to my employer about the 3 months I wanted to take off. I was amazed when I boss said that I could take 2 months and still keep my job. So, I said yes, and agreed to sign on for another year of employment. I feel so fortunate that my boss understands my wanderlust and respects my desire for other pursuits.
And so, I ran through the open door of opportunity, and decided to join the team in Bolivia. I still know no details about the specifics of the team, ministry, living situation or money needs, but I am excited! Please continue to pray for me that my body will heal and I will be able to play soccer and that all the other details will come together with ease.

Day of Arts & Crafts

2011-03-20T21:46:00.000-07:00

Sarah came over and encouraged me to create... a lamp, earrings, and paint. We enjoyed theater movies over coffee. Not to mention I went to the craft store and biked!

PS Praise God. I also hiked Mt Pisgah yesterday and had no pain today!!!!

Top It Off

2011-03-13T21:31:00.000-07:00

A good week.

Morning prayer, book study/ babysit, lunch with Sarah at the Lotus Garden- Vegan Chinese

Day of confirmation: Boss oked Bolivia trip for two months, Church and Collins said they wanted me to be a part of the ministries in Bolivia

Night prayer, worship, commited to CCF trip to Bolivia

Fun long work day

Lead work out was a bad idea, but salsa in the evening was fun

Spanish, art fundraiser, J tea with Nadine, Michael, and Robin, Community garden, biking

Movies enjoyed: Once, Fame, Tangled in 3D.

Exerpts from the book "A Praying Life"

2011-03-12T19:46:00.000-08:00

When we don't recieve whapray for or desire, it doesn't mean that God isn't acting on our behalf. Rather, he's weaving his story. Paul tells us to "continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksging" (Colossians 4:2). Thanksgiving helps us to be grace centered, seeing all of life as a gift. It looks at how God's past blessings impact our lives. Watchfulness alerts us to the unfolding drama in the present. It looks for God's present working as it unfolds into future grace.
If Jesus were a magic prayer machine, he'd have healed this woman's daughter instantly, and we would not have discovered her feisty, creative spirit. Likewise, Jesus' ambiguity with us creates the space not only for him to emerge but us as well. If the miracle comes too quickly, there is no room for discovery, for relationship. With both this woman and us, Jesus is engaged in a divine romance, wooing us to himself. (Matthew 15)
The waiting that is the essence of faith provides the context for relationship. Faith and relationship are interwoven in dance. Everyone talks now about how prayer is relationship, but often what people me is having warm fuzzies with God. Nothing wrong with warm fuzzies but relationships are far richer and more complex.
Just to tell Jesus what I need and leave it with him is such a struggle.
When God seems silent and our prayers go unanswered, the overwhelming temptation is to leave the story- to walk out of the desert and attempt to create a normal life. But when we persist in a spiritual vacuum, when we hang in there during ambiguity, we get to know God. In fact, that is how intimacy grows in all close relationships.
Many of us wish God were more visible. We think that if we could see him better or know what is going on, then faith would come more easily. But if Jesus dominated the space and overwhelmed our vision, we would not be able to relate to him. Everyone who had a clear-eyed vision of God in the Bible fell doen as if he were dead. It is hard to relate to pure light.
I've been living at the edge of the abyss for several years now. Yes, I have had close times, have felt the presence of God, and these memories alone are what keep me from checking out.
Sometimes when we say "God is silent," what's really going on is that he hasn't told the story the way we wanted it told. He will be silent when we want him to fill in the blanks of the story we are creating. But with his own stories, the ones we live in, he is seldom silent.
If you wait, your heavenly Father will pick you up, carry you out into the night, and make your life sparkle. He wants to dazzle you with the wonder of his love.
i wanted success; he wanted authenticity. The Father was taking me on the same downward journey he took his son. Paul invited the Philippian church to join Jesus, "who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant being born in the likeness of men" (Philippians 2:6-7). The downward journey is a gospel story.
If Satan's basic game plan is pride, seeking to draw us into his life of arrogance, then God's basic game plan is humility, drawing us into the life of his Son. The Father can't think of anything better to give us than his Son.
To correctly discern when God is speaking to us, we need to keep the Word and Spirit together.
Love without being able to pray feels depressing and frustrating, like trying to tie a knot with gloves on. I would be powerless to do the other person any real good. People are far too complicated; the world is far too evil; and my own heart is too off center to be able to love adequately without praying. I need Jesus.
Living in unfinished stories draws us into God's final act, the return of Jesus. While we wait for his return, it is easy to predict the pattern of the last days. The book of Revelation pictures a suffering church, dying as creation itself is unraveling. Through suffering God will finally make his church beautiful and reveal his glory. In the desert you see his glory. In the last days the bride will be made beautiful, pure, waiting for her lover. Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

Good encouragement

2011-03-06T16:11:00.000-08:00

Phil 4:9, Rom 15:13, Ps 25:4-5, 139:23
God is faithful.
God not only hears but answers prayer.
God is love.

My own judgement?

2011-03-06T15:00:00.000-08:00

Trying to find words
Trying not to be too emotional
God is good and God has a plan and a reason for placing desires within me
Oswald March 4
It is easier to serve or work for God without a vision and without a call, because then you are not bothered by what He requires. Common sense, covered with a layer of Christian emotion, becomes your guide. You may be more prosperous and successful from the world's perspective, and will have more leisure time, if you never acknowledge the call of God. But once you receive a commission from Jesus Christ, the memory of what God asks of you will always be there to prod you on to do His will. You will no longer be able to work for Him on the basis of common sense.
What do I count in my life as "dear to myself"? If I have not been seized by Jesus Christ and have not surrendered myself to Him, I will consider the time I decide to give God and my own ideas of service as dear. I will also consider my own life as "dear to myself." But Paul said he considered his life dear so that he might fulfill the ministry he had recieved, and he refused to use his energy on anything else. This verse (Acts 20:24) shows an almost noble annoyance by Paul at being asked to consider himself. He was absolutely indifferent to any consideration other than that of fulfilling the ministry he had recieved. Our ordinary and reasonable service to God may actually compete against our total surrender to Him. Our reasonable work is based on the following argument which we say to ourselves, "Remember how useful you are here, and think how much value you would be in that particular type of work." That attitude chooses our own judgement, instead of Jesus Christ, to be our guide as to where we should go and where we could be used the most. Never consider whether or not you are of use- but always consider that "you are not your own" (1 Corinthians 6:19). You are His.

Are you Listening to God? A personal Challenge from Oswald.

2011-02-12T08:41:00.000-08:00

We don't consciously and deliberately disobey God- we simply don't listen to him. God has given his commands to us, but we pay no attention to them- not because of willful disobedience, but because we do not truly love and respect him. "If you love me, keep my commandments" (John 14:15). Once we realize we have constantly been showing disrespect to God, we will be filled with shame and humiliation of ignoring Him.
"you speak with us,... but let not God speak with us..." (Exodus 20:19) We show how little love we have for God by preferring to listen to His servants rather than to Him. We like to listen to personal testimonies, but we don't want God Himself to speak to us. Why are we so terrified for God to speak to us? It is because we know that when God speaks we must either do what He asks or tell Him we will not obey. But if it is simply one of God's servants speaking to us, we feel obedience is optional, not imperative. We respond by saying, "Well, that's only your own idea, even though I don't deny that what you said is probably God's truth."
Am I constantly humiliating God by ignoring Him, while he lovingly continues to treat me as His child? Once I finally do hear him, the humiliation i have heaped on him returns to me. My response then becomes, "Lord, why was I so insensitive and obstinate?" This is always the result once we hear God. But our real delight in finally hearing Him is tempered with the shame we feel for having taken so long to do so.

Understanding Cynicism-exerpts from a praying life

2011-02-07T17:19:00.000-08:00

After reading these last chapters in the book A Praying Life by David Powelson, I realized that my skeptic and critical personality has carried over to much of my belief in "how God responds to prayer." God is faithful though and has been educating me a lot this last year about trusting him. Still I identify a lot with these quotes speaking of cynicism:
If I get an answer to prayer, sometimes I'll think, It would have happened anyway.
I think we have built up scar tissue from our frustrations, and we don't want to expose ourselves anymore. Fear constrains us.
It is easier for me to feel skepticism and nothing than to feel deep passion.
It feels like we can't find the joy in things, like we are too aware to trust or hope.
The cynic is always observing, critiquing, but never engaged, loving, and hoping.
It protects you from crushing disappointment, but it paralyzes you from doing anything.
a praying life is just the opposite. It engages evil. It doesn't take no for an answer. The psalmist was in God's face, hoping and dreaming, asking. Prayer is feisty. Cynicism, on the other hand, merely critiques. It is passive, cocooning itself from the passions of the great cosmic battle we are engaged in. It is without hope.
Weariness and fear leave us feeling overwhelmed, unable to move Cynicism leaves us doubting, unable to dream. The combination shuts down our hearts, and we just show up for life, going through the motions.
All of these thoughts Question the active goodness of God on our behalf. These thoughts ridiculously lack trust in the only person that is really in control and deny Him the glory that is obviously due him. I refuse to be robed of the joy that worry and criticism commands.

Good times, Good weekend

2011-01-23T15:51:00.000-08:00

Thanks Shannon for having a birthday on this weekend and reuniting old friends. I almost forgot how good it feels to been known well by people.

Mission Connexion North-West blew my mind with the amount of mission organizations and resources... more to come from my findings in the future I am sure.

Finally, Sunday sunshine made my day. The weather was so clear that my roommates and I saw the mountains while on a bike ride! -Fantastic bike along the Mckenzie River to complete the afternoon.

When Life comes it generally is FAST

2011-01-19T18:41:00.000-08:00

The end of a year and start of a new one. This last month has had much change... Engagements of family, has now extended my imediate and extended families. More hours at PCO, more commitment to FBC, more new friends. New bank, new computer, new understanding of God and how he speaks through books and people. Visiting friends, visiting home and saying goodbye- something I am not very good at.
Work has left me emotionally exhausted and raw. Funny that some environments though they try to inspire freedom are very oppressive in other ways. I am constantly challenged in my faith and in my dependancy on God to speak for me when I can not. Miscommunication and lack of trust are very large monsters at work. I am thankful for the lessons in trust and complete dependancy upon my God. Pray that God would be glorified.

My friends visit!

2011-01-07T16:12:00.000-08:00

A great weekend starts with friends, food and a new activity: hockey!

Free day at the beach

2011-01-02T20:00:00.000-08:00

The night of December 30 two of my housemates and I traveled to Newport to take advantage of a wonderful free gift. The gift: A night at the elizabeth inn all expenses paid. When we arrived we quickly realized this was going to be an amazing New Years Eve. The room had a fire place, private balcony that looked out over the ocean, jacquze, saline pool. Together we explored every detail. My favorite was waking to the waves crashing in the brisk morning sunshine. Our adventures continued with a short drive to yaquina head lighthouse for some whale watching. From there we traveled to Otter Rock to the Devils punch bowl for some sight seeing and wine tasting at the Flying Dutchman. We walked the beach and downtown Newport, ate some sea food and then drove back to Eugene for further festivities with friends.

The night started with appetizers and drinks at Davis's and wonderful homemade chinese at a friends home. While there we were also introduced to the game balderdash- which was so much fun! The evening then concluded at another friends for "just dance" the wii game, dessert, balldrop and sparklers! Yes, yes it was a wonderful start to the new year.

How to make the season bright

2010-12-30T11:49:00.001-08:00

Fall Times

2010-12-01T09:57:00.001-08:00

Weekly Blessings

2010-11-08T13:12:00.000-08:00

Dear Family that God has blessed me to be a part,
Thank you for making time in your busy lives for coffee talk, praying, sleep overs, walks and healthy meals. Your conversation and love are more wonderful and encouraging than you know. Because of your encouragement I am able to face the day and be the person that God has made me to grow to be.
My identity is part of a clan that is proud to be family and blessed by food and time shared together.

Dear Friends that God has given me,
Thank you for the adventures, the challenge to be social, testing me, speaking truth, and late night talks. You have made me stronger than I ever could have been alone. Thank you for being a part of healing of my heart.
Thank you for helping me realize I love people.

Dear God,
You are more love, more wonderful and more than comprehensible. You are amazing for loving me. Thank you for your never ending, grudge withholding love.
My identity is completely changed by your love.

I bought a car.

2010-10-18T09:58:00.000-07:00

Can I be a real adult now?

Independence has an expensive price tag that continues to build I have found.

car price + state plates & tags + gas + engine fluids + oil change + insurance = Ouch!

I am still trying to process that all this hassel is worth the headache and "pride of ownership."

Time to Read

2010-10-13T19:10:00.001-07:00

The Pursuit of God- AW Tozer
It was amazing!

Don't be messing around with my goodness

2010-10-10T14:02:00.000-07:00

Notes from Pastor Ben: Enjoying the Good Life
http://www.fbceugenefamily.com/podcasts/
Get rid of your pride; it is external and God does not want it.
self righteousness is righteousness that is their own
Matt 5:20 For i tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.
The harshest words God ever said were to religious people.
The kind of righteousness discribed in Matthew 5 by Jesus is imposiblefor even the most religious people. Jesus does not call us to religion; He calls us to relationship with himself.
It is not about keeping the rules of external religion; it is about something that happens deep inside you.
The blessed or happy life in Matthew 5 is gaining God's approval after we've already received His acceptance by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. (Rom3:24) We must be creadited with God's righteousness as a gift through faith, before we can actually begin to become more righteous like God in our hearts and demonstrate that through good works. (What church people call sanctification- becoming more like Christ.) Jesus' sermon was intended, primarily, for those who are already His disciples. (Those who already believe His gospel.)
Therefore, it is possible to be enabled by His Spirit to live, love and lead like Jesus.

Thanks for knowing me

2010-10-08T19:36:00.000-07:00

Meeting new people is always exciting, but there is something so great about not having to explain your background, your likes and dislikes, and the changes you have made. Today after dinner with some old friends and a phone conversation with my parents, I was reminded of this fact. It was so refreshing not having to put all that extra energy forward. To only have to give a background story of just three days was great!
To all that know me and how long it takes me to trust. Thanks for sticking around and continuign to share your story. I love you!

Beautiful Lord- Leeland

2010-10-07T18:29:00.000-07:00

"When the storm is raging all around me, you are the peace that calms my troubled sea."

These lyrics played through my mind as I biked home today. Somehow, today was exhausting. It wasn't the work or the length of time, but more the steady amount of pressure I placed on myself and my performance at work. I am a people pleaser and perfectionist- a hard standard, I know.

I desire too much some might say, but I think it is good to have goals. So, in addition to learning everything at my new job, I am teaching myself Spanish and attempting to learn more about Jesus by reading the bible. Also, some new additions to my life might soon be a car, bike and computer. Though there is still much reading and research before I get to the point of purchase.

Sadly, these goals/tasks that I have set before myself, I am letting get the best of me, and I am burdened instead of excited. Individually each item is thrilling, and I need to remember this fact. Funny, this seems similar to how many miss-interpret the freedom in relationship with Christ, instead of freedom, obligation is the overwhelming feeling.

"I am loved by a King and it makes my heart want to sing. How can I keep from singing your praise? How can I ever say enough, how amazing is your love."

Thank you Lord for being my peace, source of stregth and wisdom. Keep my anxious thoughts for the future replaced by the exhileration of the new present.

Keeping me moving forward.

Lena and I in Portland last weekend.

Into Routine

2010-09-22T17:06:00.000-07:00

This month, I fell into a routine- holy cats! Trying to avoid this, I have been adding new friends, cooking, gardening, and reading new books. The steadies are sail boat racing on Thursday (sadly finishing up this week when Fern Ridge is drained for the winter.), bible study on Monday, work throughout the week, weddings on Saturday (Thankfully all the weddings of Summer are now done.), and Family dinner on Sunday evening.
The book list has been inspired mainly by my desire to know God more and to possibly be a missionary in South America. I am so thankful that I now have time to read for fun! I just finished reading Under the Tuscan Sun- it was wonderful, and totally inspired me to travel through Italy and cook amazing simple foods. (Like I really need more of a reason to visit Italy.) Work at PCO is also going really well. The staff and my boss are all really great and I am learning a lot! Life at the new house continues to also be a blast. I made applesauce last night and am currently having dinner with the girls :D
The sun is shinning and I am SO blessed!

Weddings, and More Weddings

2010-09-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

Summer is coming to a rapid close and with it the copious amount of weddings. Hooray next weekend will be my final one! Below are pictures from the most recent. Also a girl date with Megan to the book store and herb restarant and my sail boat crew.

Doing Life- Thank you Corrie for your wisdom

2010-08-30T17:07:00.000-07:00

Above all, Trust in the slow work of God. We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. We would like to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new. And yet it is the law of all progress that is made by passing through some stages of instability and that it may take a very long time. And so I think it is with you; your ideas mature gradually- let them grow, let them shape themselves without undue haste. Don't try to force them on, as though you could be today what time, (that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own goodwill) will make of you tomorrow. Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming in you will be. Give our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.
- Piere Teilhard de Chardin

Aug 29

2010-08-30T15:21:00.000-07:00

Every time you venture out in your life of faith, you will find something in your circumstances that, from a common sense standpoint, will flatly contradict your faith. But common sense is not faith, and faith is not common sense. In fact, they are as different as the natural life and the spiritual. Can you trust Jesus Christ where your common sense cannot trust Him? Can you venture out with courage on the words of Jesus Christ, while the realities of your commonsense life continue to shout, "It's all a lie"? when ou are on the mountaintop, it's easy to say, "Oh yes, I believe God can do it," but you have to come down from the mountain to the demon-possessed valley and face the realities that scoff at your Mount-of-Transfiguration belief (see Luke 9:28- 42). Every time my theology becomes clear to my own mind, I encounter something that contradicts it. As soon as I say, "I believe 'God shall supply all [my] need,'" my strength runs dry and my vision is blinded, will I endure this trial of my faith victoriously or will I turn back in defeat?
Faith must be tested, because it can only become your intimate possession through conflict. What is challenging your faith right now? The test will either prove your faith right, or it will kill it. Jesus said, "Blessed is he who is not offended because of Me" (Matthew 11:6). The ultimate thing is confidence in Jesus. "We have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end..." (Hebrews 3:14). Believe steadfastly on Him and everything that challenges you will strengthen your faith. There is continual testing in the life of faith up to the point of our physical death, which is the last great test. Faith is absolute trust in God- trust that could never imagine that He would forsake us (see Hebrews 13:5-6).

still good songs

2010-08-26T12:59:00.000-07:00

I'll Stand
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMEBmeesPfQ
None but Jesus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1k8yIwS5nI

The Difference is Consistency

2010-08-24T22:34:00.000-07:00

Bible study tonight was over ten verses in Galatians (5: 16-26).
During the study, I was reminded of how easily my natural tendency is toward spiritual vices in opposition to the spiritual virtues. The focus of the group came to verse 24 "Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions an desires." It was decided that this change of vices to virtue is not something that as Christians we always choose, but that it is something that after we choose to be a follower of Christ, is changed for us through the power of the Holy Spirit. Our passions and desires are crucified- it is painful, not comfortable or easy, but in the end it is worth much more than the temporary satisfaction of any vice.
In Colossians 3:3-4, it says that "For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory." The virtuous go to heaven! (Unlike those who neglect God and others Gal 5:21)
All would agree that Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (fruit of the spirit) are all good things that any person can manifest at any point. The difference is that those persons full of the Spirit, will consistently display them to everyone. This is not something that just happens because we desire the good traits, it is because of the Spirit. And no, bragging rights are not reserved for the made holy, because it was not they that made themselves that way. (verse 26)
Yes, Christians will not always display the virtues/ fruits of the spirit, but to say that it is because of the "sinful self," "being human," "not completed" is a cop-out. Yes, Christians are "a work in progress;" However, the goal is Christ, and if the focus is on Him, than there will be a difference and it will be consistent.

Menu at the Lodge

2010-08-24T22:33:00.000-07:00

My roomates and I have a blog documenting all the edible creations that take place in our home!
http://everythinglodge.blogspot.com/

Birthday Bash

2010-08-22T20:57:00.001-07:00

This weekend I turned twenty four!
The shinangins began with a cup of coffee...
A day of fishing Alton Baker and Leaburg dam.
Camping at Cougar Resivour.
Biking the Row River Recreation Trail from Cottage Grove to Dorena Lake.
Shakespeare in the Park: Macbeth.
And finally floating the Willamette River through town in a tahetee.

Thanks to all persons involved in the adventures; I had a wonderful birthday!

Blueberries

2010-08-16T19:52:00.000-07:00

Complete reliance on God has become the month of August. He gets all the credit for this because I never at any one point decided that I would trust, it just happend. The great thing about being dependent on someone is that if they keep proving trustworthy, a calm overwhelms you. Praise the God of the universe that knows my daily needs and meets them! Praise Him because He extends grace every day and continues to love me.
Learning list for the summer: read the bible in context of history with surrounding details, learn Spanish, read more about God, and trust Him.
My reading list is huge this summer, but I am really excited to see what God teaches me through this whole process. I still feel called to Bolivia. At this moment, I feel that the confirmation is in the fact that this particular ministry with BLESS is not at all what I view as "missions." If nothing else, God is teaching me that "God places His saints where they will bring the most glory to Him, and we are totally incapable of judging where that may be." - Oswald Chambers

Time in Life

2010-08-16T19:32:00.001-07:00

Apparently every person goes through this season in life: Weddings. This summer, I was invited to seven! So, in addition to soaking up sun this summer, I have been traveling to witness and celebrate the union of many dear friends.
I love weddings, but at this point I am tried of the all consuming talk about the details. Still, I am encouraged that weddings still hold a lot of weight to the people. The personalized vows showed that each couple was indeed making a commitment for life! Hooray! In these moments, I believe in love for life.

Day one discipleshipe training

2010-08-02T17:33:00.000-07:00

John 12:24-26

We must be so committed to living for Christ that we "hate" our lives by comparsion. This does not mean that we long to die or that we are careless or destructive with the life God has given, but that we are willing to die if doing so will glorify Christ. We must deny the tyrannical rule of our own self-centeredess. By laying aside our striving for advantage, security, and pleasure, we can serve God lovingly and freely. Releasing control of our lives and transferring control to Christ bring eternal life and genuine joy.
What I do in life is what God has placed in my heart to do as service to bring others to an understanding of Him. Nothing that I do makes me better than any one person. I live in joy supplied by Christ. I am called to love purely.

Micah 6:8

Funny Whole World Isn't It... Listen to new music

2010-07-30T22:28:00.000-07:00

This last weekend, God gave me a chance to see what it looks like to live with no plan. Relaxed wisdom was spoken. The focus was on Christ, while the world spun crazily around. By day three, my heart was ready to hear anything that God wanted to say. Instead, God stood silent and I bowed. This is a time of learning and waiting. I have much to learn about God, hearing His voice and spiritual discernment.
To the best of my ability, I want to focus on God's grace and love. Then I won't get in the way of His interactions with my people. Because it was my self righteousness and refusing to be disillusioned with the world that took my life.
There is something to be gained from realizing how far we are from glory to understanding the depth of love and grace extended by Christ. I have no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply have the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see Him walking on the sea. Choosing to be present in the minute to minute, the moments become precious. Confidence is easy in this position of complete reliance. ... Well, when I submit and trust Him ;)

White Water

2010-07-30T00:29:00.000-07:00

Call to me (God) and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearable things you do not know.

2010-07-22T10:33:00.000-07:00

As the David crowder band plays Glorious in the background, I read past highlighten verses in my Bible.
I am encouraged by the faith people possessed in the new testament. They asked the Lord boldly for things in faith that He was able to heal, save, and comfort them. Matt 5:6, 6:26, 7:11, 8:2, 19:26
I am challenged to be bold for what I believe. Matt5:16, 5:44, 13:22, 28:18-20
I am advised that my focus is to be on Christ. Matt 6:24, 6:33, 16:24, 19:21, 22:37
And reminded of the love of God. Matt 9:35-38: Jesus went through all the towns and vilages, teahing in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."
I pray for the day that there will be no longer violence, the day that people would hear His words and rest. Then we will glorify the one who is Great!

Tea Wisdom

2010-07-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Henry David Thoreau

A Rich Mullin's Journal Entry

2010-07-20T12:42:00.000-07:00

Right now it is dusk and far in the east the sky is already being inked with the shadow that our earth makes of itself and some nearer stars are waking there. I am in a park in Indianapolis, and right now these great trees are casting no shadows; the greens of their leaves are holding the last rays of sun already set and the sky in the west is bright and turquoise and it shines like a semi-precious stone-- as if any stone could be "semi-precious."
And over all that I can see, over my motorcycle and the trunks and limbs of these hardwood giants, over this close-cut lawn and the now abandoned tennis courts and baseball diamonds, over the sky (still fading, still and newly exquisite) and over me, a great peace washes. It comes up from the ground and down from the heavens-- a deep peace breathed out by a universe that surrounds itself again to the embrace of its Creator-- its God, who is to be sought by His saints in the hours of early mornings but condescends to seek out even sinners at dusk and washes them at evening in the peace of His presence and throws round their shoulders the cloak of His acceptance and puts on their fingers the ring of His pleasure-- the pleasure He takes in them when He meets them here on the road even before they could get home, when He echoes is the evening the hymn He sang for them at dawn.

Encouragement for Graduating and Life

2010-07-20T11:07:00.000-07:00

All I have seen touches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

God can do anything, you know- far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! Epesians 3:20 Dream big with God.

Have courage to be who you wan tot be, do what you want o to and live your life true to you.
Embrace the richness of life. Let your dreams touch the sky. love the rue and wonderful you. Experence the world with amazement. See the wisdom in others. Respect where you are and never forget where you've come from. There is nothing but success ahead.

Dwell in possibility... - emily dickinson

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. - Abraham Lincoln

Continued Prayer Requests

2010-07-13T10:22:00.000-07:00

My grandfather is scheduled to have surgery Wednesday.

Prayer Requests

2010-07-12T15:53:00.000-07:00

Please Pray...
For my family as my grandpa prepares for surgery to place a feeding tube in his stomach.
For my grandmother as she makes decisions for my grandfather's health.
For good communication between everyone on my mother's side of the family as they discuss health care options for my grandparents.
For my mother as she provides home care for my grandfather- that God would protect her from injury and exhaustion both mentally and physically.
For my father as he continues to look for work.
For my brothers as they prepare for college- that they would both earn lots of money for school and that they would enjoy their summer break.
For my cousin that she would find a place to move to in town before she leaves for the Netherlands.
For myself- smooth transition and move into a new house come August, wisdom with continued education in Spanish- to take classes this summer or wait for fall, work- remember all that I need to know and that I would get enough hours to sustain me financially or that I would find a balance with other employment, missionary work- possible long term mission opportunity- that it would be God's timing and not just my desire to leave Eugene, iceaxemen- for continued relationship with the kids, schedule stress with dates weddings/ work/ school?
For my friends that they would continue to know and pursue knowledge of God

Playing in the Water

2010-07-11T22:05:00.001-07:00

The weather here in Eugene has been amazing lately. To escape the heat, I began to explore all the surrounding water holes. My conclusion: Fern Ridge- Best for saling, Dorena Lake- Best for hanging out, Triangle Lake Sliding Rocks- Best local escape (Unfortunately also super crouded and the Lake has poor public access), Mckenzie River- always good times and super clean.

July 8th Oswald Chambers

2010-07-11T21:49:00.000-07:00

A person's will is embodied in the actions of the whole person. I cannot give up my will- I must exercise it, putting it into action. I must will to obey, and I must will to receive God's Spirit. When God gives me a vision of the truth, there is never a question of what He will do, but only of what I will do. The Lord has been placing in front of each of us some big proposals and plans. The best thing to do is to remember what you did before when you were touched by God. Recall the moment when you were saved, or first recognized Jesus, or realized some truth. It was easy then to yield your allegiance to God. Immediately recall those moments each time the Spirit of God brings some new proposal before you.
"Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.." Your choice must be a deliberate determination- it is not something into which you will automatically drift. And everything else in your life will be held in temporary suspension until you make a decision. The proposal is between you and God- do not "confer with flesh and blood" about it (Gal 1:16). With every new proposal, the people around us seem to become more and more isolated and that is where the tension develops. God allows the opinion of His other saints to matter to you, and yet you become less and less certain that others really understand the step you are taking. You have no business trying to find out where God is leading- the only thing God will explain to you is Himself.
Openly declare to Him, "I will be faithful." But remember that as soon as you choose to be faithful to Jesus Christ. "You witnesses against yourselves..." (Joshua 24:22). Don't consult with other Christians, but simply and freely declare before Him, "I will serve you." Will to be faithful- and give other people credit for being faithful too.

Sell'n out to the world, yet you never let go

2010-07-08T22:17:00.000-07:00

You want things, but you do not have them. So you are ready to kill and are jealous of other people, but you still cannot get what you want. So you argue and fight. You do not get what you want, because you do not ask God. Or when you ask, you do not receive because the reason you ask is wrong. You want things so you can use them for your own pleasures. So, you are not loyal to God! You should know that loving the world is the same as hating God. Anyone who wants to be a friend of the world becomes God's enemy. James 4:2-4
I am sad and tired. Make me strong again as you have promised. Psalm 119:28
I love you, Lord. You are my strength. The Lord is my rock, my protection, my savior. My God is my rock. I can run to him for safety. He is my shield and my saving strength, my defender. I will call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I will be saved from my enemies. Psalm 18:1-3

Sometimes I wish I didn't have such a guilty conscious. Then I could have cheated, pierced and tattooed my body, travelled more, kissed and not cared. So, God I question myself maybe for self-pitty, but more I think because I question what I missed. I want to live life with not regret, yet I sit here wallowing in memory. I tell myself that it is in the past, so forget and move on. I know I can't change the past, yet I wonder how much it would mess up my future if I... was a little more passionate/ crazy/ radical and didn't follow the game plan.
I really want to live in Mexico and learn Spanish.

Some pics from AK

2010-07-06T20:02:00.000-07:00

Just keep blundering along

2010-07-06T19:26:00.000-07:00

It is when I am exhausted mentally and spiritually that I find I lose my desire to live. I am sure those moments of stupidity didn't help in my resolution either though. When I focus on the good, I had an amazing weekend. So, I am trying not to be frustrated with the fact that I forgot the gift for my friend in another person's car, not be disappointed for being kicked out of a beach party, being a burden to my friends for forgetting my wallet in Corvallis after traveling to Eugene, and for not knowing that an ARRT certification is different than a State license. Humbled again I end up right on my face wondering if karma is real and that tomorrow will be better. But I really don't believe in karma, only that God will continue to watch out for this fool.

God thank you for your grace. Bless the people that helped me. Give me clarity of thought next time.

My weekend really was wonderful. I got to do lots of traveling and get out of Eugene. I was in Milwaukie visiting my friend Bryne and helping her with wedding stuff. Listened to some blues at the festival in Portland. Had a glorious pillow fight in Corvallis then went to the beach to swim, play in the sand, drink a beer at Rouge, and watch fireworks. Slackline in Corvallis, pick strawberries, learn to sail at Fern Ridge and west coast swing dance in Eugene all to complete the weekend with a long drive with a great friend. -Thanks Nathan you are wonderful!

I'm Back!

2010-06-28T09:21:00.000-07:00

Thank you for all the prayers, words of encouragement and good times!
My vacation started a bit shaky as I forgot my cap and gown in Eugene. Luckly, I was able to get in touch with my land lady and she was able to pass the ceremonial costume on to Nick's mother so that I could use it in Klamath. And equally wonderful, I think that was the only potentially serious oops I had all vacation.
I had a wonderful time celebrating with family and friends in Klamath and Bend. Then I traveled to Alaska with my friend Nathan and we met up with our mutual friend Bekah. She was a wonderful tour guide and I feel like we experienced a lot of Alaska. We went salmon fishing, flying, ran, biked, hiked, kayaked, went to a concert and baseball game and of course ate amazing food. It was a wonderful time. (I will be attach pictures later.)
When I got back to Oregon, I visited my family in Waldport for our semi-annual family reunion. It was also a good time had eating and visiting and hiking.
Now, back in Eugene I am completing the LIST: job hunting, bills, cleaning, drug test/ HR paper work.
Enjoy the sunshine!

Fast and Faster

2010-06-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

This year has flown by, and here I am preparing to take my ARRT registry exam. I have been applying to jobs in Oregon, Washington, Washington DC and Alaska. Graduation is this coming weekend. Then there is my trip to Alaska with friends and a perspective job interview. So, if you think of me at any point this week. Pray. Please pray that I keep my wits about me, I speak eloquently, and that I enjoy the moment. Thank you.

I can not stand still

2010-06-04T12:19:00.000-07:00

My body has been the last thing that I have been able to control in these last couple months. And now it is broken. (Monday I ran 12 miles. Tuesday I had a MRI of my knee. The tech said I had a micro tear in my PCL and a stress fracture in my femur. The doc said I didn't tear my PCL. Friday I went swimming. Pain is something that I am use to but this has been different. This is me not trying to need surgery. Trying desperately not to be competitive.) My body has always been a weak point in my relationship with God. I always just wanted god to heal my injured body so that I could be strong and competitive. So, once again, right before my race, I am injured and God is saying "Why won't you give me complete control of your life? You have learned to trust me with your future - even though you desperately try to know and control it. Let me be in control of your body. I know the allergies, illness, and injury are all things you try to manage, but you do not have to be a martyr over your health." For it is God that wounds and God that heals (Deuteronomy 32:39).
God you have my attention. Still my mind cries out what have I done Lord to deserve these things? I am thankful that I was able to run and train to the extent that I did. But I want to still compete in the half marathon without injury. What do you want of me?
I give up my control of work, school, education, relationships, travel, and body. Is there anything else that you demand of me? May I not appear arrogant or insincere. I am just upset and desperate. I know I should run to you with all my concerns instead of doing it all on my own, till I fail. I know that time with you is better than anything that I can find here. I know that you, Lord, are seated high above the heavens, see all, know all and yet hear my prayer. I know that you comfort those in need, that you rescue and set free the captured. You set the path before my feet that I may not stumble.
Give me wisdom, keep my mind pure. I do not want to be bitter or have regret. I so not want to waste my time on the planet. I want to live passionately and ridiculously. So God here I am asking for you to speak.
"I want you to rely on me for everything."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLeDySWGfOw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY9m0uAPun0

Yesterday

2010-06-02T21:01:00.000-07:00

I have been training now for a half marathon for three months. I feel prepared to race. all except for a nagging pain in my left knee and occasional numbness in my left lower leg. A preliminary MRI showed that I might have a stress fracture forming in my femur and a minor PCL tear. Today a doctor said that I didn't have a tear. Now, I am not sure what to believe. I know that it hurts more than normal, and I know I don't want to quit on my dream to race a half marathon. For now, I will take lots of acetaminophen and run shorter distances in hope that the pain will lessen. Pray that I truly am not injured and that God would protect my body.

May 22 -Oswald Chamers

2010-05-22T15:17:00.000-07:00

"If you are going through a time of isolation, seemingly all alone, read John 17. It will explain exactly why you are where you are- because Jesus has prayed that you "may be one" with the Father as He is. Are you helping God to answer that prayer, or do you have some other goal for your life? Since you became a disciple, you cannot be as independent as you used to be.
"God reveals in John 17 that His purpose is not just to answer our prayers, but that through prayer we might come to discern His mind. Yet there is one prayer which God must answer, and that is the prayer of Jesuse- "... that they may be one just as We are one..." Are we as close to Jesus Christ as that?
"God is not concerned about our plans; He doesn't ask, "Do you want to go through this loss of a loved one, this difficulty, or this deaft?" No, He allows these things for His own purpose. The things we are going through are either making us sweeter, beter, and nobler men and women, or they are making us more critical and fault-finding, and more insistent on our own way. The things that happen either make us evil, or they make us more saintly, depending entirely on our relationship with God and its level of intimacy. If we will pray, regarding our own lives, "Your will be done" (Matthew 26:42), then we will be encouraged and comforted by John 17, knowing that our Father us working according to His own wisdom, accomplishing what is best. When we understand God's purpose, we will not become small-minded and cynical. Jesus prayed nothing less for us than absolute oneness with Himself, just as He was one with the Father. Some of us are far from this oneness; yet God will not leave us alone until we are one with Him- because Jesus prayed, "... that they all may be one...""

I am glad that God desires/loves me so much that He is willing to make me like Himself.
*Things that stood out to me while I read this morning.

God you are crazy

2010-05-22T15:01:00.000-07:00

I found out last night that I need a suit for an upcoming interview. The next day my cousin happens to be going suit shopping with some friends. Amazingly, I am able to find a nice pant suit and blouse at Anne Taylor's for under $100 in two hours! Thank you God!

Recent Joys

2010-05-15T15:17:00.000-07:00

I ran 4 miles in 30 minutes

Made my first tye dye t-shirt

Screen printed a pillow case

Recieved a graduation quilt

Ate an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's Fro Yo Cherry Garcia

Prepped a church for painting all before noon- Yep, I feel accomplished.

Refreshment

2010-05-08T20:53:00.000-07:00

In times of chaos... Go to the campus fair, buy a beanie, listen to a'cappella, play a new game, attend the art walk, watch a dance performance, tye dye, rock climb and bike.... Oh, and then study like mad!

Post Graduation

2010-05-08T08:23:00.000-07:00

Not many things are certain in life. For me the things that are, seem to already have dates attached. June 5th: my final day of extern. June 12th: I graduate college with my Bachelor of Science in Radiologic Sciences. June 15th: travel to Alaska to be with friends and explore/adventure.
Beyond these dates is when the uncertainty of the future resumes. In one frame of mind, I feel free to try new things and pursue education in Spanish, art, travel and perhaps a part time job. Then the responsible mind reminds me that money runs the world; and to pursue any of these options, I might as well use my degree to make some and afford next months rent.
Oh, The ball and chain that nails dreams to the ground. I wonder what will be the deciding factor that will pull me from this time spent languishing in a quandary of non-commitment.

Excerpt by Robert E. Coleman

2010-04-26T20:48:00.000-07:00

We dare not obscure the altar of sacrifice, where consecration to God is complete. If we try to circumvent the cross, we assure our own ultimate defeat, for we cut the nerve of obedience and kill the lifestyle of the Great Commission. (Go, and make disciples of the nations. Jesus) No one will take seriously the command to make disciples who has not taken up the cross.
Strangely, today we hear little about self-denial and suffering in all the talk about church growth. Is this because most of what has been said to date has come out of the Western world, where affluence abounds and church affiliation is a mark of social acceptance, if not good politics? Unwittingly, I am afraid, Christian discipleship has often been squeezed into this world's mold, radical obedience. But it will not stand the test of time. When the standards of church membership are set by popular demand, eventually the church becomes so much like the world that there is no reason for the world to change. The very effort of the church to appease fleshly expectations makes her unattractive.
... To see significant growth, more likely than not we will need to go beyond the easygoing, self-indulgent religious life of the West. It is the church living under oppression and poverty, usually in underdeveloped countries of the world, where the most thrilling growth is happening today. I am not suggesting that all of these non-Western lands have vibrant churches, any more than that all congregations in the West lack vitality, but a general pattern can be observed. It is interesting, too, that for the most part, the people in these growing segments of the Third World Christian community have had little, if any, opportunity to receive extensive formal training or even attend a church-growth seminar. Obviously, sophisticated theological education, with all its assumed expertise in churchmanship, does not produce the lifestyle of Jesus.
Have the opulence and freedoms of the Western world, though wrought with great potential for good, lulled a complacent church into mediocrity? If that is the case, any circumstance that removes these artificial supports from us should be seen as an act of mercy. Our Lord is more interested in developing our character than in preserving our comfort. Whatever it takes, we must get back to basic Christianity, align our will with the way God has set for us, and move out to disciple the nations. In many instances, church membership standards must be raised, reflecting higher expectations of commitment and disciplined living. The congregation may be slow to understand, but those in positions of authority can lead the way for others to follow and show by their example what it means to be true witnesses of Christ.
Yet obedience alone can become brittle and weary in well-doing. There must be an inner dynamic motivating and empowering life with love, an actual partaking of the divine nature. To bring this truth into focus, one final principle must be stressed, apart from which everything else written thus far would be sounding brass and tinkling cymbal. (Without love I am only a resounding gong. Corinthians)

A lesson from the early apostolic church in christian history. Excerpt from The master plan of discipleship. I am sorry if this doesn't make much sense to some of you reading, but it is mainly a challenge to those that claim Christ as Lord of their lives.

Iceaxemen magazine

2010-04-21T11:35:00.000-07:00

This month's articles are from thr Red Rocks trip. I am in two of the pictures at the end!http://iceaxemen.com/docs/IceaxemenMagazine.pdf

Oswald Chambers Devotion for the 20th

2010-04-21T10:19:00.000-07:00

"Jesus' parable of the talents recorded in Matthew 25:14-30 was a warning that it is possible for us to misjudge our capacities. This parable has nothing to do with natural gifts and abilities, but relates to the gift of the Holy Spirit as He was first given at Pentecost. We must never measure our spiritual capacity on the basis of our education or our intellect; our capacity in spiritual things is measured on the basis of the promises of God. If we get less than God wants us to have, we will falsely accuse Him as the servant falsely accused his master when he said, "You expect more of me than you gave me the power to do. You demand too much of me, and I cannot stand true to you here where you have placed me."When it is a question of God's Almighty Spirit, never say, "I can't." Never allow the limitation of your own natural ability to enter into the matter. If we have received the Holy Spirit, God expects the work of the Holy Spirit to be exhibited in us.
"The servant justified himself, while condemning his lord on every point, as if to say, "Your demand on me is way out of proportion to what you gave to me." Have we been falsely accusing God by daring to worry after He has said, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you"? (Matt 6:33). Worrying means exactly what this servant implied- "I know your intent is to leave me unprotected and vulnerable." A person who is lazy in the natural realm is always critical, saying, "I haven't had a decent chance," and someone who is lazy in the spiritual realm is critical of God. Lazy people always strike out at others in an independent way.
"Never forget that our capacity and capability in spiritual matters is measured by, and based on, the promises of God. Is God able to fulfill His promises? Our answer depends on Whether or not we have received the Holy Spirit."

What am I doing with my Spiritual giftings?

Will Not The Judge Of All Do Right? Gen 18:16-33

2010-04-18T13:16:00.000-07:00

Abraham has no problem with God judging peoples sin. His concern in these verses is that God judge the righteous and unrighteous the same.
In revelation we are told that God with judge. He will judge the unbelievers by their every deed, careless word, secret thing without partiality. He will also judge the believers, but for their life stewardship. -Basically what one did with his/her spiritual gifts.
Gods wrath is certain and his judgement is absolutely final. 2 Peter 3:8-13
Thankfully God does not want anyone to go to hell. Thankfully he is fair and has amazing grace.
John 3:16

Hope Has a Reason- Becky Pippert
"Think how we feel when we see someone we love ravagged by unwise actions or relationships. Do we respond with beingn tolerance as we might toward a stranger? Far from it... Anger isn't the opposite of love, hate is, and the final form of hate is indifference.If I, a flawed narcissistic sinful woman, can feel this much pain and anger over someone's condition, how much more a morally perfect God who made them? God's wrath is not a cranky explosion, but his settled opposition to the cancer of sin which is eating out the insides of the human race he loves with his whole being."

Adventures of Recent History

2010-04-18T12:56:00.000-07:00

A Goal To Achieve

2010-04-18T12:37:00.000-07:00

What is the point of growing up, having experiences, making connections? It all seems an exhausting show that never ends or keeps one from becoming inevitably bored. Our desires and visions change, but is there ever a core issue or item that will satisfy?
If I have a goal, how am I to know that all the effort I put toward that ideal will not disappoint me once achieved? Why do people change careers on average at least 3 times? Why do so many marriages end in divorce? Why is there such a separation between the poor and wealthy? Why do we settle for things?
I want love, joy and happiness. I am told that I should desire much more than these though. I am told that without money or status, I am nothing but boring or faining disinterest toward them, and therefore foolish. People say I need to graduate for others to take me seriously. But then what will they think of me if I do not use the degree for which I graduated?
I enjoy travel, meeting people, trying new things, and seeing people enjoy themselves. Should I have been a travel guide? I enjoy art in every form. Should I have studied art in school instead of science? I enjoy a breath taking view and warm cup of tea on a brisk morning, but where does that leave me?
To be genuine and live each day fully are aspirations of mine. Now, if I only had a direction and someone to share the experience.

Wisdom from Ben Cross

2010-04-11T12:59:00.001-07:00

Remember with the promises of God:
Emotions are unreliable indicators of what is real or true.
If there are conditions, then fulfillment is neither automatic nor guaranteed.
Your perspective of how God works is severely limited.
Delays are designed by a loving father committed to developing your faith and character.
Is anything "hard" for the Lord?
Nothing is too hard/wonderful for the LORD, but perhaps the hard/wonderful thing He will do is to transform us through pain, and not deliver us from it. Ultimately, God's promises to us concern eternal blessing and for us to be conformed to Christ's image. God is willing to sacrifice anything temporal to ensure His eternal purposes for us are realized.
God is getting my soul ready.
As we accept by faith that nothing is too hard for God, we must remember that we do not dictate to Him which "hard" thing He must do- change our circumstances or transform our hearts.
It is all for His glory.

My parents visited!

2010-04-10T21:36:00.000-07:00

The way to permanent faith- Oswald Chambers

2010-04-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

"Their faith was real, but it was disordered and unfocused, and was not at work in the important realities of life. The disciples were scatterd to their own concerns and they had interests apart from Jesus Christ. After we have the perfect relationship with God, through the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit, our faith must be exercised in the realities of everyday life. We will be scattered, not into service but into the emptiness of our lives where we will see ruin and barrenness, to know what internal death to God's blessings means. Are we prepared for this? It is certainly not of our own choosing, but God engineers our circumstances to take us there. Until we have been through that experience, our faith is sustained only by feelings and by blessings. But once we get there, no matter where God may place us or what inner emptiness we experience, we can praise God that all is well. That is what is meant by faith being exercised in the realities of life.
"Have we been scattered and have we left Jesus alone by not seeing His providential care for us? Do we not see God at work in our circumstances? Dark times are allowed and come to us through the sovereignty of God. Are we prepared to let God do what He wants with us? Are we prepared to be separated from the outward, evident blessings of God? Until Jesus Christ is truly our Lord, we each have goals of our own which we serve. Our faith is real, but it is not yet permanent. And God is never in a hurry. If we are willing to wait, we will see God pointing out that we have been interested only in His blessings, instead of in God himself. The sense of God's blessings is fundamental. ... Unyeilding spiritual fortitude is what we need."

Allie Visited!

2010-03-31T21:02:00.000-07:00

What do Scotts do when they get together? Eat, walk and talk :D

Shocker

2010-03-29T21:26:00.000-07:00

My last Spring Break totally rocked! .... No pun intended. Let me start at the beginning.

I have been volunteering with an after school program for high school students. One of the big trips that the group takes is to Red Rocks, Nevada. The trip gives the students the opportunity to practice what they have learned about climbing, be efficient, work as a team and of course climb some really big walls.

I was totally blessed to be invited to go to Red Rocks. However I was also really apprehensive about traveling with a bunch of people I didn't really know, climb all day for a solid week, potentially get stuck on top of a mountain, and the chance that a student would ask me if I believed in God.

I was assured, by staff, after a couple of weeks of Olympic ring training that I would be able to climb well and that if I did got tired I could take an easy day hiking. My one friend on the trip, also informed me that most staff do not share there faith with the students for years.

However, when the trip began at 5am Friday morning, I developed more fears for the trip. I would be driving, I would be climbing with a backpack and gang climbing in groups, and the walls would be huge! Thankfully my God was with me as I drove down to California, and the girls in my car questioned whether I thought humans were good or evil, if sex was the reason Adam and eve were thrown out of the garden and if the devil was an angel?

Our drive both down and back took two days each way. One night, spent in Bakersfield on the way down and one in Sacramento. We climbed eight out of the ten days we were gone. And I personally climbed 32 pitches (lengths of rope). We camped all of the days we were in Nevada and bathed only in the creeks between canyons. We also took one evening to drive the Las Vegas strip.

Some of the high-lights for me on the trip were listening about people's passions, hiking up icebox canyon to a waterfall, climbing jubilant song and driving the 13 mile loop every day. One thing that I will never forget is the immense scale of rock that was there, nothing compares.

Thank you God for keeping me safe and displaying your beauty and love in your creation.

Psalm 19
1The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.
2Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge.
3There is no speech nor language, where their voice is not heard.
4Their line is gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world. In them hath he set a tabernacle for the sun

Weekend Bike Kick

2010-03-09T20:00:00.000-08:00

This weekend I went on two good bike rides. The first up to the top of Spencer butte is definitely the best ride I have been on in Eugene. The second was neat to find a trail out west to Fern Ridge. Plus, I got to make some new fun acquantences.

God is Faithful

2010-03-09T19:32:00.000-08:00

At bible study we read the story of Abraham's Test by God to sacrifice his son, Isaac, on Mount Moriah.
I have heard this story so many times growing up in the church, but this time a fellow student said something new that struck me. He said that the story paralleled the situation of a student being tested in a math class. If the student studied the material, he/she would know the answers and would just need to prove that knowledge on paper. In this analogy, Abraham had complete confidence that he and his son would return because his past experience told him that God would do what He said. And previously, God had told Abraham that through Isaac, nations would come.
I had always viewed this story as Abraham just being incredibly faithful to do what God told him to do, not that he knew the end result before it happened. Now, this is not to say that Abraham knew exactly how he and his son would return, but that he had faith that God could raise his son from the dead- in the event that he had to actually go through with killing him.
I want to have a crazy/ dependent faith that follows God; and follows knowing that the God of past experiences is faithful for the future ventures. Thank you Lord for the peace you give those that follow you. Show me where to go. I am willing to follow today. Give strength to follow tomorrow.

Wisdom From Job

2010-02-25T20:18:00.000-08:00

Bible study focused on the book of Job this week and I was reminded of the times I doubt God, His plan or do not trust His judgement. My lack of faith and trust, seems ridiculous when God reminds job of who he is, almost rhetorically, in response to Job's complaint/ questioning of his trial.
"The Lord said to Job: "Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him? Let him who accuses God answer him!" The Job answered the Lord: "I am unworthy- how can I repay you? I put my hand over my mouth. I spoke once, but I have no answer- twice, but I will say no more." Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm: "Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself? Do you have an arm like God's, and can your voice thunder like his? Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor, and clothe yourself in honor and majesty. Unleash the fury of your wrath, look at every proud man and bring him low, look at every proud man and humble him, crush the wicked where they stand. Bury them all in the dust together; shroud their faces in the grave. Then I myself will admit to you that your own right hand can save you.
...
"Then Job replied to the Lord: "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You ask, Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge? Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. You said, Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me. My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore i despise myself and repent in the dust and ashes."

How many times have I questioned if God really knows all, sees all, and has an active roll in all things? And how many times do I give my opinion of how things "should be done"?
I should be at the very least grateful for life- which is given, to me, only by grace and mercy of the God. He is way beyond my understanding. Yeah, I really can not tell God a single thing that He does not already know. He is active and present in every second, causing the sun to rise and fall, and still he is concerned with me - this blows my mind. But may I never forget how BIG God is.

Wisdom From A Friend

2010-02-23T16:52:00.000-08:00

Hey Beth! Well, I was pondering your question about career choice on my drive to Bend- here are my thoughts. A career and a calling are not the same thing. I believe God may place a calling on your life that will be fulfilled no matter what career you find yourself in. Careers may change- and no matter what you find yourself doing as a job to support yourself, you're calling remains. Not that you should choose a career simply for money- it should reflect your giftings and interests. But I think as long as we're attentive to God's voice (and obedient) and open to the opportunities he brings our way- our lives will reflect His purposes. I think we sometimes put too much pressure and stress on what career we strap ourselves into- just because we make a wrong career choice (if there is such a thing) doesn't mean our calling is stripped from us. In all- your calling may not be the same as your career and I think it's important to explore what they both mean. That is my long winded answer. lol

Amnesia

2010-02-21T18:46:00.000-08:00

I feel as if my brain can take no more. The last couple of weeks I have been learning new medical imaging modalities (CT, MRI, CIT)- their procedures and software, Iceaxemen staff and students- their names and individual talents, the history of Christian ministry, and recalling skills in rock climbing. I know this is all good for training my short and long term memory. It is just terribly embarrassing to have to ask someone there name over and over again. I know that transition/ challenging my brain/ new information all will help keep my mind active. I just need more time to process and read about current events! I know I need to do more reading when I can not think of synonyms for words and am barely able to form coherent sentences.
The good things lately have been my success in the various modalities, not killing Matt while remembering my climbing skills, going out with girlfriends, family meals and running/ being out in the sunshine.
Side note on my running: My left lower leg has been going numb around mile four the last couple of long runs I have been on. Pray that this doesn't continue, especially if I am to run in a half marathon this coming June.
Thank you God for the sunshine!

God's Global Purpose (Class #2)

2010-02-14T14:49:00.000-08:00

This quote from the inside of a hut in Africa:
I AM A PART OF THE FELLOWSHIP COMMITTED TO DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES.

I have the Holy Spirt's power; the dye has already been cast. I've stepped over the line.
I'm out of the comfort zone.
The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.
I won't look back, let up, slow down, or back away.
My past is redeemed, my present makes sense and my future is secure.
I'm finished and done with low living and sight walking and small planning and smooth knees and colorless dreams and tame visions and mundane talking and chintzy giving and dwarfed goals.

I AM A PART OF THE FELLOWSHIP COMMITTED TO DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES.

I no longer need popularity.
I don't have to be right.
I don't have to be first.
I don't have to be tops.
I don't have to be recognized, praised, regarded or rewarded.
I now live in His presence.
I live by faith.
I live by patience.
I live by prayer and I labor in power.

I AM A PART OF THE FELLOWSHIP COMMITTED TO DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES.

My face is set. My gaze is fast My goal is heaven.
My road is narrow. My way is rough. My companions are few. But my Guide is reliable and my mission is clear.
I cannot be bought or compromised or detoured or lured away.
I cannot be turned back or diluted.
I will not be delayed.
I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, or hesitate in the presence of the adversary, or negotiate at the table of my enemy.

I AM A PART OF THE FELLOWSHIP COMMITTED TO DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES.

I will not ponder at the pool of popularity of meander in the maze called mediocrity.
I won't give up,
Or shut up,
Or let up,
Or burn up,
Until I've preached up,
Prayed up,
Paid up,
Stored up,
And stayed for the cause of Christ.

I AM A PART OF THE FELLOWSHIP COMMITTED TO DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.
I must go until He comes, give until I drop.
I must preach until all know and work until God stops.

And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me because I'VE DEDICATED MY LIFE TO BEING A PART OF THE FELLOWSHIP COMMITTED TO DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES.

Prompting to Purity

2010-02-08T18:56:00.000-08:00

Starting to understand the meaning of the word sanctification and realizing that I want to be holy for my God that is holy.
Has my culture cultivated a biting tongue and stinging wit within myself, or is it merely my own personal inclination?
My tendency for perverse speech and aggressive behavior, I have finally become disgusted by. I realize now it comes across as lame and uneducated, even as a shock factor, defense mechanism or culturally learned habit. Yes, it is a part of me, but a part now that I want to be separated from.
In this, I also do not want to be of the position to look down on persons that use this language to describe their world. I just personally, want to not be hurtful with my quick wit. However, I do not mean to have a mind that is disengaged from the daily goings on or be not able to debate. I just want to make more than a conscious decision to have kind speech and thought.
God I know that you have prompted this thought. Continue your work in me. Because only by your working within me will I be able to reflect this change to purity.

Significance

2010-02-03T19:34:00.000-08:00

Searching for significance, wait!
In church, I was told that significance is found in doing what God has designed you to do, told you to do; Not going out and making a name for yourself. So what is it that God has said to me? As a disciple, I am told to go and make disciples of all nations, to love, to give to the needed, and walk humbly. Am I being this person? Or has Bethany decided that waiting on the Lord takes too much time, and made a name for herself? Speak Lord. What do you want me to do for my life?!
Listening to JJ Heller "Your hands."

encouraged

2010-01-30T11:38:00.001-08:00

" Each heart knows it's own bitterness, and no one else can fully share it's joy." Prov.14:10

My dear friend, Megan, just started a blog and I love that she has managed to put words to a sentiment I also share. It is a desire to do much in passion and joy, through Christ. Yet, this passion is often directed to so many areas that the fullness of God's love is not truly directed and exhaustion comes from a striving to accomplish much, with only self reliance/ desire as backing. To wait on the Lord's direction is to be valued; even if it seems to take forever and becomes a direction that wasn't even on the radar, it will be blessed.

Check out her blog- megslizbeth.blogspot.com

Why?

2010-01-30T11:13:00.000-08:00

"But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more?" Gal. 4:9

Commitment

2010-01-25T18:49:00.000-08:00

I was reminded today that I am alive in Christ. That all the moments, that I am more than excited about life and am in the present moment, are when I am focused on Christ. Oddly enough most addicts can remember from what/ where they get their kicks, but me I forget. I forget the feeling of love and peace and exuberance. I want to once again, be daily in communication with God. I want to be in the moment, and focus less on fear of the unknown future. I want to pray. I want to read my bible for all it is worth. I want to have an evident intimate relationship with my God. And I want to reach my world with the freeing message of love found in a relationship with Him.
Come, have dinner with me and lets talk.

Are You Ready?

2010-01-24T14:23:00.000-08:00

What is your vision for life? At Christ's coming, I want to look at my life and think I held nothing back. That I spent my life in reliance upon God's guidence and served others with the intention of showing Christ. I want to live, love and lead like Jesus so, that when judgement happens I will not be found hypocritical, complacent or misdirected. I want to live my life as if every day is my last.
Isaiah 61:1-4 Proclaim the Lord
Matthew 16:24- 27 Take up your cross... He will come and reward those
Colossians 1:28, 29 teach everyone wisdom
2 Corinthians 5:10 We must all appear before the judgement seat
1 Thessalonians 2:19, 20 for what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you? Indeed, you are our glory and joy.
Exodus 13:17, 18 -God does not always take you the shortest route.

Pick up your death sentence and follow.

God, give me courage for You are GREAT!

Gear Sale

2010-01-23T14:41:00.000-08:00

My cousin and I went to the REI Snatch and Grab Sale this morning. Attached is a picture of us waiting in line. Coffee, tea and notes/ book in hand we were prepared for the wait. It was cold. What else can I say, we grabbed some deals and conquered the line.

Grand Coincidences

2010-01-22T21:33:00.000-08:00

Funny how my daily devotions have been following my mood. Today, I was given a fairwell party at the clinic Iw as rotation through- they were a great group. I also had an interview with the director of a program called Iceaxemen. It is an after school program for high school students to get them outdoors. It also provides a positive environment for kids to grow and be safe. Side note, it is also missionally grounded.
Anyways, this is my reading for the morning.
Do we expect God to come to us with His blessings and save us? He says, "Look to Me, and be saved..." The greatest difficulty spiritually is to concentrate on God, and His blessings are what make it so difficult. Troubles almost always make us look to God, but His blessings tend to divert our attention elsewhere. The basic lesson of the Sermon on the Mount is to narrow all your interests until your mind, heart and body are focused on Jesus Christ. "Look to Me..."
Many of us have a mental picture of what a Christian should be, and looking at this image in other Christians' lives becomes a hindrance to our focusing on God. This is not salvation- it is not simple enough. He says, in effect, "Look to Me and you are saved," not "You will be saved someday." We will find what we are looking for if we will concentrate on Him. We get distracted from God and irritable with Him while He continues to say to us, "Look to Me and be saved..." Our difficulties, our trials, and our worries about tomorrow all vanish when we look to God.
Wake yourself up and look to God. Build your hope on Him. No matter how many things seem to be pressing in on you, be determined to push them aside and look to Him. "Look to Me.." Salvation is yours the moment you look.

This is funny because I have been really anxious and indecisive about the future lately. I have this back up life planned, if I don't get a job and one if I do. Also, i have been super blessed this last week with too many coincidences to have it be just a good week. Simple, God is good.
Back to my future plan/ back-up plans.
First, if I get a job in Eugene or surrounding area, I will most likely become really involved with the iceaxemen program, first baptist church, and missions in town/ abroad and buy a car. However, if this is not the case, my plan gets more ambiguous. I might do language school in Mexico/ Bolivia, commit to a long term mission in Bolivia, try to find a medical/ mission related venue, or work for a traveling tech agency or peace core.

Thanks for the reminder God, Liz and Joe to be part of the moment and stop trying to think so far ahead.

Daily Reading- a reminder I can't mess up God's plan

2010-01-20T18:05:00.000-08:00

January 19
Whenever God gives a vision to a Christian, it is as if He puts him in "the shadow of His hand" (Isaiah 49:2). The saint's duty is to be still and listen. There is a "darkness" that comes from too much light- that is the time to listen. The story of Abram and Hagar is Genesis 16 is an excellent example of listening to so-called good advice during a time of darkness, rather than waiting for God to send the light. When God gives you a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will bring the vision He has given you to reality in your life if you will wait on His timing. Never try to help God fulfill His word. Abram went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all of his self-sufficiency was destroyed. He grew past the point of relying on his own common sense. Those years of silence were a time of disciple, not a period of God's displeasure. There is never any need to pretend that your life is filled with joy and confidence; just wait upon God and be grounded in Him. (see Isaiah 50:10-11)
Do I trust at all in the flesh? Or have I learned to go beyond all confidence in myself and other people of God? Do I trust in books and prayers or other joys in my life? Or have I placed my confidence in God Himself, not in His blessings? "I am Almighty God..." - El-Shaddi, the All-Powerful God (Genesis 17:1). The reason we are all being disciplined is that we will know God is real. As soon as God becomes real to us people pale by comparison, becoming shadows of reality. Nothing that other saints do or say can ever upset the one who is built on God.

Thanks God for the reminder.

New Friends, New Bible Study

2010-01-19T18:21:00.000-08:00

Thanks for the invite Matt. I totally enjoyed the study. It was great to just read/ discuss and tangent from the chapter read.
Ephesians chapter one was the focus for the evening. It was great to be reminded of how blessed I am as a Christian. - through Christ I have power, wisdom, understanding, spiritual blessings, hope, and am a co-hire. In fact my being, is praise to God. With this reminder, how could I not feel anything but thankful and excited/joyful. Yet, that became a huge focus for me to get my mind straight and back on God. I was challenged to fully surrender, use what God has given me, understand that God's will, will be done- I can't mess it up, and believe that God will reveal his will.
A good challenge for me was to question myself, Why am I not joyfilled?
I can't mess up!
Getting focused.

Bless the Rest

2010-01-17T12:54:00.000-08:00

I was really encouraged today at church to pray for the nations. There was a guest speaker and his humor and passion was wonderful.
One of the main verses he quoted was from John 10:14-16. It is a quote from Jesus. "I am the good shepherd." (This title is in reference to the paragraph and verses before, when Jesus is using the example of the relationship between a shepherd and his sheep- an analogy for God and his people. Jesus is stating that He would never abandon His sheep. The comparison was that a hired hand might and probably would, desert the sheep because he is not invested/ interested in their lives unlike the true shepherd.)
So, Jesus/ God will never abandon and is therefore a "good shepherd," I continue with the verses that were actually focused on during the sermon.
"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me- just as the Father knows me and I know the Father- and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd."
The speakers focus was more on that last half of the verses. He spoke about bringing the word of God to peoples that do not know Him. He spoke of his work in Iraq and helping the Curds, and how God is working through the believers there.
He also quoted Paul and his ministery written in Romans 15: 20. "It has always been my ambition to preach the gospel where Christ was not known, so that I would not be building on someone else's foundation. Rather, as it is written: "Those who were not told about him will see, and those who have not heard will understand." (Isaiah 52:15) Then he quoted Habakkuk 2:14, "For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea."
It was really encouraging to hear about what God is doing in Iraq and just how simply these people are helping that nation. I was encouraged by his reminder of Jesus to the disciples, to "Go, and make diciples of all the nations." I was great to be reminded that God is concerned for all and desires that all would know Him.
Pray for the unbelievers. Pray for those that bring the knowledge of God to people who do not know Him. Be encouraged God will make himself known.

Below is the link for Frontiers and more about their ministry. The speaker was Dr. Bob Blinco and you can hear his message in the other link through First Baptist Church. Just click on January 17th.

http://frontiers.org/
http://www.fbceugene.com/resources/media-messages/messages

Adventures with Steph Last Weekend

2010-01-16T09:39:00.001-08:00

Pics From Winter Break

2010-01-09T10:14:00.001-08:00

This was my winter break: I spent most of my time relaxing with family, but also took some time to hike Pilot Butte and go x-coutry skiing with my dad. All in all it was a fun time!